How Do Mail Order Brides Work?

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Nearly every guy that visits International Love Scout really wants to know, “How do mail order brides work?”

We understand that sometimes it can be a little confusing.  So, we have put together this list of simple questions and answers to help guys understand the most confusing issues.  

Questions & Answers About Mail Order Brides

Are mail order brides for sale?

We often get asked – “Can I buy a bride?”

NO! That would be slavery, kidnapping, or human trafficking.  The modern mail order bride industry is NOT about slavery, prostitution, or human trafficking: It is about ROMANCE. 

If you have some other idea, please leave this site now!

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The term mail order bride is an out of date term that suggests that a guy simply scans a web site and picks out the girl he is interested in, pays the price, and buys a wife.  But it is myth that never existed according to the actual history of mail order brides.

What makes mail order bride dating different?

In many regards the  modern mail order bride movement is not very different from most online dating agencies like or  The websites usually look and operate similarly, but it is the members and what they want who really make the sites different.

Many mail order bride sites also used to offer a lot of useful services for a guy involved in the ultimate long-distance relationship such as, translation, tour guides, apartment rentals, drivers, and so on.  But today the only truly full-service international dating agency that still offers all of the services is A Foreign Affair, our number on recommended marriage agency.

But what really make international dating different is that the women are incredibly sexy!  Just look around this site.  These women would marry a Western man if they could meet the right guy. 

That is what is so amazing about international dating: the women.  Look at these fitness girls or these bikini babes.  You just can’t meet women like that easily in Omaha or Birmingham!

What kind of men marry mail order brides?

“What kind of men marry mail order brides?”  Usually, the men who follow through the whole international dating process are generally better educated and more successful than average American or European men. 

Many of them have spent their whole lives working hard to achieve success in their chosen field and then reached middle age only to discover that they want to settle down and start a family. But that is an enormous challenge in the United States or Europe, because Western women are often obsessed with the age gap and will not even consider dating a man more than six to seven years older than them.  So, many of these guys decide to look overseas.

Also, a lot of these men really want to date beautiful women.  To some this might seem shallow, but it is a biological imperative for better or worse and mail order brides are HOT!     

Sometimes the guys are a little shy and geeky.  Often they have imagined they will never meet the right woman, but if they are decent guys and they try the usually find what they are looking for.

However, there are a small percentage of men who should not date mail order brides.  If you even have the slightest notion you are one of those guys follow that link.

Are mail order brides all scam artists? 

No, most mail order brides would like to find a great foreign guy, because of the status of women in their home countries. 

In Asia is considered an old maid at about twenty-three is considered unmarriageable.   Latin women face the daily ridicule of the ridiculous macho culture.  In Eastern Europe men have fought to roll back all the gains women made in the 20th century and in 2017 Russia basically decriminalized domestic violence.     

So, these beautiful women have legitimate reasons for wanting to meet a foreign man, and, in fact, they are worried about getting scammed too.  Don’t forget that.

Life is complicated and finding true love might be the most complicated part of life. But, yes, scams do sometimes happen to men and you should be aware of the risks.  But if you check out these tips to avoid being scammed you can avoid most of the risks. 

Do all marriages to mail order brides all end in divorce?

No, this one the common myths about mail order brides.  In fact, most studies suggest that relationships that start on international dating sites actually do better than other relationships.  

If you want to read the studies about divorce and mail order brides follow this link.

Why do so many women sign up as mail order brides?

These women are all online and they know what life is like in the United States, Australia, and Canada.  Most importantly, they know, or at least think they know Western men.

Why?  Because they watch a lot of romantic comedies, but in their daily lives they don’t see men treat women like Matthew McConaughey does in the movies.  Also, many of them have friends or relatives living in the North America or Europe who constantly brags about how nice their foreign husband is to them. 

Of course, these women want that.  They want to be treat with compassion and respect, and, sadly, many of them do not get that at home.  That is why they sign up for mail order bride agencies, because they want to meet men probably a LOT like you.

Are you going to live your dream or dream of living?  It is your choice.

Want to be happier and make more money?

If you want to be happier, make more money, and ever have a better sex life: GET MARRIED!

Yeah, it is a fact a lot of men balk from, but the evidence is stunning and goes back almost two hundred years.  When modern banking first started expanding to the middle class in the 1830s one of the first rule bankers discovered was that married men were better businessmen and better risks. 

Since then the evidence has piled up in literally hundreds of scientific studies, but it actually gets better.  Married men actually live longer, particularly if their wife is younger. 

You are a very lucky man!

Professors who study mail order brides were SHOCKED!

Mail order brides have probably been studied more intensely than any other form of online dating.  Most of the research has been done by women professors – avowed feminists – nearly all of whom started out certain they were going to discover a network of human trafficking, sexual slavery, and domestic violence. 

But when they did the research they were shocked – absolutely shocked – to learn that in general the experience was very positive for the men and often the best thing to ever happen to the women.  The relationships worked and generally the couples were about as happy as other couples.

If you believe this is all a scam read the academic research on international dating.  You will be shocked. 

Curious about dating younger women?

It is an indisputable fact that older men are attracted to younger women.  All of the social engineering in the world has not altered this biological imperative.  But most guys over thirty-five have no hope of dating a younger woman in the United States, Western Europe, or Australia.  They just don’t.

And the fact that mail order brides often don’t worry at all about the age gap is one of the huge attractions of the modern mail order bride industry.  All of these women have seen men in their home countries treat women with disrespect and they want something different.

They like the idea of an older, more mature man who is going to be honest, faithful, and kind.  Remember, in many of these cultures beating your wife is not just allowed but sometimes even considered to be a man’s duty. 

These cultural issues are why any normal American or European guy with a decent job who actually makes the effort almost certainly can marry a younger woman overseas if he really wants to. 

What do you really want?

Worry what people would say about a mail order bride?

A lot of guys look at the amazing women on International Love Scout and really want to meet them.  But a lot of guys just chicken outm, because they are scared of what their friends and family would say about them if they married a mail order bride.

Of course, you wouldn’t do that, would you?

Well, not if you got the facts about how to convince your friends and family that your relationship is honorable, built on respect, and really good for you.  That is what they really want.

And, really, are you going to let fear of other people’s opinions keep you from seeking the love you want and need?  You are a better man than that.  You know you are.    

Think mail order brides are only for rich men?

No, you don’t have to be rich to date a sexy foreign woman, and, in fact, spending too much money often is one of the biggest mistakes men make. 

To put it simply, the cost of a mail order bride is not out of reach for most reasonably successful European or North American men. 

So, don’t be scared away by the cost.  Make the decision that is right for you based on what you really want and need.

Divorced and just want stress free dating?

Divorce is tough.  And for a lot of guys dating after divorce is even tougher, because every woman is suspicious and you don’t really understand the subtle rules of modern dating. 

But mail order brides actually want to meet you.  And, in general, they are not terribly concerned that you have been divorced.  These ladies will judge you by how you treat them, not by your past.  They are incredibly forgiving. 

Sure, there is still some stress, but it is usually more like anticipation than dread.  Because you know you have a real shot and this is why international dating is such a great option for divorced men.

Do the women you are interested in act like you’re dead?

That does not happen overseas!

Unless, you’re a celebrity you get to the point that the pretty girls you would like to meet just look past you like you died in 1981.  You are a ghost to them. 

This is not the reaction you will get from foreign women! 

In fact, if you take one of A Foreign Affair’s famous tours you will meet more women in three hours than you have probably met in the previous three years. 

And if you know the rules for dating younger women you should not have a tough time building a relationship with a younger woman you really want to date.

Think you are too young for a mail order bride?

Mail order brides tend to like older men, because they see older men as more honest, faithful, and reliable. 

That is the main things the women are looking for, but a younger guy can succeed if he makes an effort.  For some guys this is a challenge, but often for guys who are geeky and haven’t had much success with women it is easy. 

Because geeky young guys are usually actually smart, successful, and funny.  They just don’t have a lot of experience with women.  In fact, mail order brides are often perfect for those guys.

Here is more information about how younger guys can success international dating.

Mail order brides love military vets!

Mail order brides love military men!  

Why?  Because they are looking for guys who are faithful, honest, and strong.  They really value a man who can defend them physically and emotionally. 

And they are all coming out of very macho male-dominated cultures most of which have a deep military tradition.  So, being a retired officer or NCO gives a man instant status for many of these women, particularly in Ukraine and Russia where the memories of World War II are still amazingly fresh.

A military man, particularly a retired military man, is seen as rock solid.  And a Western military man who combines strength and determination that all successful soldiers have with some of the compassion and respect for women that mail order brides find so attractive is an absolute home run!

More Questions?

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