man looking at a girl's profile

Just Shut Up And Listen: International Dating Sites Work!

This article is a little different from most of the articles on International Love Scout.  Normally, we try to be positive, honest, and compassionate. 

For a lot of guys that works, but some guys are hardheaded.  Some guys need a little tough love, so here goes:

This is a conversation between the two of us – just me and you.

It is going to be blunt.

It is going to be honest.

It will probably offend you. 

So, if you are a snowflake that cannot handle a little honesty, please STOP READING!

Do not send me emails about your hurt feelings.  

Green Card Brides and Mail Order Bride Scams

Have you ever heard the term, “Green Card Bride?” 

What about, “Mail Order Bride Scam?”

If you have heard of one of those terms the radical feminists have probably planted a seed of doubt in the back of your mind about international dating.

If you know both of those terms you have some very strong preconceived notions – planted by radical feminists and their allies in the mainstream media – about the modern mail order bride movement.

You probably don’t really believe international dating sites work. 

You don’t really believe that you can date the hottest women in the world

You do not believe that there are places where you, a reasonably successful middle-aged man from the United States, Canada, Europe, Australia, New Zealand, and a few other developed countries is a HOT dating target for stunning young woman.

stunning international ladies in bikinis

If so, then you are a complete sucker!  You have been duped by people who actually hate you and everything you stand for. 

If you buy that crap the media loves about green card marriages and mail order bride scams. The feminists have won. 

You have a lot of preconceived notions about international dating, because of the feminist propaganda campaign opposed to mail order brides has been incredibly successful.  Starting in the 1990s a small group of devoted feminist professors and community organizers have carried out a relentless campaign to besmirch international dating.

The feminists paint the women who sign up for international dating sites as cynical sex slaves or at best naive young girls too ignorant to know they are being lured to a horrible fate.  In the feminist literature, the men who romance these women are usually pimps, human traffickers, or serial killers.

If ANY of this were true it would be a horrible situation, but amazingly many of the most dedicated critics of international dating never actually spoke to any of the men or women in these relationships. 

Instead, with a grasp of public relations that would make PT Barnum smile in amazement they succeeded in getting their version of international dating accepted as the truth by lawmakers and the media without having a shred of evidence. 

Preconceived Notions         

Have you ever tried to change anyone’s mind about anything?  It is hard. You can pile up evidence, site witnesses, and show the video, but if someone has already made up their mind it is usually hopeless.

Most people land on International Love Scout, click on a few pages, and read a little of this and that and leave with their preconceived notions as safe as Fort Knox. It is really stunning because all of our articles are loaded with great links to the most authoritative sources possible.

Humans are a very stubborn species.  We get an idea in our heads and no matter what we see, hear, or read, it almost never wavers.  It doesn’t matter how frivolous our initial data was on the subject; we will study and work very hard to not have to change our opinions about almost anything.   

And Americans largely have made up their minds about mail order brides.  Marica Zug a law professor at the University of South Carolina explained that “Americans are extremely hostile toward the idea of mail-order relationships.”

That is human nature and I recently got a look at it up close and personal.

Beliefs Can Blind You to Evidence         

I fly a lot.  I like it because I like meeting people.  I rarely tell anyone exactly what I do for a living because it is complicated, and I don’t have all of this evidence right at my fingertips like I do here online.  So, usually, I just tell them I have an online business and let it go at that – except when I don’t.

I met a guy on a long international flight a while back who knew had actually seen how incredible international dating could be but still had not changed his opinion that somehow it was all a scam.  He was a successful businessman who had a great military career before going into business and doing very well. 

He was in his early fifties, financially successful, and in good shape.  We talked for a few minutes.  He seemed to be a guy with everything in his life going very well, but it was also clear he was a workaholic. 

I admitted to that problem too and he mentioned was a little obsessive because he was single. 

For the first time since I sat down next to him, he seemed slightly downcast.  So, I told him a little about what I do with international dating. He said he had seen the incredibly beautiful girls on international dating websites and assumed that these girls must all be scammers. 

My frustration went through the roof. I really wanted to move to another seat, but he seemed like a smart guy so I decided to make an effort to change his mind. I almost never try, because it is so difficult to get people to listen. 

I politely explained that in recent years there have been longitudinal tracking studies that proved that these couples tend to do as well or even better than couples who meet through other methods. 

So, the evidence is clear: these relationships last.   

I expected some sort of a counter-argument, but he shocked me.  He nodded in agreement and mentioned that he knew several guys who had been happily married to women from Russia or Ukraine and one who was married to a lady from Latin America, Columbia I believe. 

He went on for a minute or two about how amazing Russian women were.  They were apparently all beautiful and accomplished women. 

He explained that as young Air Force officer in the early 1990s he was stationed at Incirlik Air Force Base in Turkey right after the collapse of the Soviet Union. So, they spent a lot of leaves and weekends and any other moment they could spare in Odessa or Kiev, sometimes they even went to Moscow or Saint Petersburg.

They apparently had an incredible time.  A couple of his buddies had even gotten married to Russian women they met on those trips.  I listened dumbfounded while he smiled and remembered the beautiful and very fit Russian beauty one of his fellow officers had married in the late 1990s.

I thought he might say things went bad and they had gone through a bitter divorce, but he went on and mentioned that this couple had great kids and an amazing life. 

Finally, I had to stop him and point out that he actually KNEW guys who were happily living with amazing foreign women and then it hit him.  He smiled and suddenly got very interested in my business. 

Mail Order Bride Evidence           

This article is my effort to have that conversation with YOU.  I’m going to try to change your mind. Will I succeed?

Who knows?  But I don’t expect you to simply trust me.  You would be an idiot to simply trust some guy with a website who has admitted he has an economic incentive in encouraging you to sign-up with dating agencies.  In other words, I’m a salesman of sorts, so I assume you are smart enough not to trust me.

I hope you are smart enough to trust the young feminist professors who have actually studied international dating. Because they have every reason in the world to rip international dating to shreds and most of these women started off opposed to international dating. 

When they grabbed their passport and booked a flight to Ukraine or the Philippines just certain they were going to uncover horrible crimes and abuse of women. 

After all, many of them were studying international dating because their supervising professor, usually an older woman, was certain it was a form of sexual slavery more diabolical than anything dreamed up in a thousand years.

But after interviewing mail order brides and the men who date them they realized the truth was far less disturbing. 

In fact, it was sort of boring. 

Most of the couples were fairly happy and living normal jobs.  The divorce rate for mail order brides is low and domestic abuse is rare, particularly compared to the country where the lady grew up. 

And after some soul searching, these fiery young academics had to go back and explain to their supervising professor and radical feminist friends that international dating was dull.  Most of them only write one or two papers on international dating.  It’s dull.  The evidence is clear… 

International dating works.

As Marcia Zug, a law professor at the University of South Carolina started out as a savage critic of mail order brides, but after about five years of research, she changed her mind.  First, she explained that

…mail-order marriage critics also fail to provide evidence for their general claims that mail-order marriages lead to abuse.

Marcia Zug – Professor at the University of South Carolina

Her book is a great place to start for anyone who wants to get this information from a reliable, disinterested source.  Here is a link to our review of her book, Buying a Bride. It is a must-read if you really want to make up your own mind about international dating sites.

Now, let’s get to the good stuff and make it work for you! 

Dating WAY Out of Your League

First, stop being such a big chicken! 

You – yes – YOU can date the stunning girls you see here at International Love Scout.  A lot of guys simply cannot believe that because… 

Well, even if they are a SEAL with fourteen combat deployments or a fireman who has gone into a hundred burning buildings something about the concept of dating a totally stunning girl – a natural 9plus – makes a lot of guys hesitate. 

It turns them into international chickens. 

It drives us nuts. We constantly hear from guys who simply do not believe they can date the incredibly hot young women they see on International Love Scout.  They are convinced the beautiful girls we profile are way out of there league. 

Smart, fit, accomplished men look at the photos of these women and immediately decide that girls this hot and sexy only date movie stars, NFL quarterbacks, and Premier League strikers.  They do not put themselves in the same league as Leonardo Dicaprio, Tom Brady, or Cristiano Ronaldo. 

Fair enough.  In Los Angeles, Boston, or Barcelona they are not, but in the world of international dating a decent, successful guy can date women just as beautiful and accomplished as any of those men.  

The problem is that a lot of men cannot imagine it even when the facts are staring them right in the face.

A Little Tough Love

high confidence level

At its core, this is an issue of confidence. Even smart, successful men simply cannot imagine that they can be this lucky. So, first I believe a little tough love is in order.

Dear God! Open your eyes!  This site is full of articles about how amazing the women we profile are, how successful these relationships are, and how great being in a good relationship can be for a man. 

Go read a little.  It is your life!  I am not going to hold your hand!

You can do this, Tiger! 

You have succeeded at many things in life. You have a lot of accomplishments to be proud of whether you are a heart surgeon, reference librarian, or a truck driver. The simple fact that you have read this far proves that you are smart and curious. 

Congratulations! You, sir, are a winner!

You have not succumbed to the torrent of feminist propaganda that claims mail order brides are all scammers and the men that pursue them are losers. I know that you are probably a good guy with a big heart and you want to have a great relationship with a beautiful woman.

So, man the hell up!

You have what it takes to succeed.  Your grandpa and his papa before that all managed to win the love of a good woman. 

Heck, even your crazy Uncle John managed to find a woman and remember, he smells like a wet dog, dresses like a hobo, and cannot carry on a conversation about anything but the New England Patriots, which is the only thing he is knowledgeable and eloquent about.   

So, you, my friend, are not the fattest, ugliest, or dumbest man to ever win a pretty girl’s heart.  That is a fact.  Women can be incredibly forgiving if they see your good points, but you must give them a chance.

Still, I know it is hard to change preconceived notions. If you don’t believe that spend a few hours reading our articles.  The evidence is overwhelming.  International dating is good for the women and GREAT for the guys, but we understand your concerns. 

You Are Not Crazy

insanely hot women in bikini

I get it.  These women are INSANELY hot and hot women throw men – even normally sane, stable, and accomplished men –  out of kilter.  I get it. 

Sometimes it is the most successful, intelligent guys who are affected the most, because they are not used to failure, and down in their heart of hearts they are scared they are not good enough for the beautiful girls they see here. 

To which I say, “Fair enough, but don’t just give up.”   You don’t have to beat the fear or drive it away.  You simply must make these emotions work for you.  Fear – at least controlled fear – is your friend.

First, remember you are not alone.  Every decent, normal guy has a big emotional response to beautiful women. You wouldn’t be reading this if you were not attracted to the women. 

Yes, it is partially driven by lust, but that is not necessarily a bad thing.  In fact, it is completely natural. 

You know that being with a woman can make you happy and being with an exceptionally beautiful woman can change your world.  Sometimes change, even good change is a little scary, and of course, there are things you should consider. 

This is not a game.  You need to think about your finances and your family obligations.  There are issues, but a lot of guys seem worried about other things they cannot control, particularly the opinions of others.  

You know that if you come back to Omaha with a solid Ukrainian 9 that the wives of your friends are going to snipe at you.  And you don’t want to face explaining to your own grown kids or your elderly mom that there is more to your twenty-four-year-old goddess than tight abs, long legs, and a face that simply seems to define angelic.

It is not fun to defend your love life to your family and friends.  God, do I know that, but there are a couple of things to remember about those social fears. 

First, and this is huge.  Your girl will be there to help you.  Overcoming these social challenges can bring you and her closer if you and her work as a team.

My advice is not to worry about strangers.  They don’t know you, but friends and family are different.  They are worried about you, and, from their perspective, there are good reasons for their concerns. 

They have read the nutty feminist propaganda that the mainstream media regurgitates about international dating.  So, be generous. 

Try to give them the facts, and then just forget about it.  If they really care about you they will stop worrying when they see how happy you are.  Just don’t get angry, tell them you appreciate their concern and let time run its course.

In the end, you have to decide who is going to make your decisions about your own life.  If you still need more help here is a whole article about how to introduce your new wife to your family.

Your Next Step

dating agencies

Now, you have to decide how serious you are about wanting a good woman in your life.  If you are really serious, sign up for a couple of agencies.

Our favorite agency is A Foreign Affair. Here is our Loveme.com review. It is a little confusing, but that is AFA’s main website.  Read it and see if it is right for you.  We are big fans of their romance tours because they take the hassle out of meeting foreign women.

If that doesn’t seem right for you maybe you should consider a matchmaker.  Matchmakers tend to charge more, but they also provide a much higher level of service.  If that seems intriguing, check out our article on VIP Matchmaking.

If you just want to get meet some girls online Behappy2day lets you chat with women from all over the world.  Another great choice for chatting with Asian women in Cherry Blossoms and they are significantly cheaper.

If you meet a girl on one of the chat agencies you don’t get much help with the travel.  If you are an experienced international traveler that may be just fine.  It all depends on your background.

And you could just book an airline ticket tomorrow and fly off to any of these great destinations without using any dating agencies.  We have a pile of great do it yourself travel guides for international dating if that seems like a good plan to you. 

So, the ball is in your court. 

You can ditch your preconceived notions and live an amazing life.  Or you can hang on to the idea that you are right and continue doing what you have been doing. 

What are you going to do?