Most men are not programmed to believe they are attractive. That is one of the biggest challenges many men have with international dating or pursuing a mail order bride.
They are used to seeing themselves as the pursuer not the pursed, and in their heart of hearts don’t really believe they are attractive. This is especially true of guys who are a little shy.
In fact, the #1 question most guys ask when starting to investigate dating is:
“Why do such incredibly beautiful women want to date a regular guy like me?”
Unfortunately, most guys are programmed by the main stream media to believe that economics is the only factor involved in a foreign women’s decision to look over seas for a mate.
Stories about Evil Russian Green Card Brides make great headlines!
Yes, economics is one factor, and we will get into that a bit later, but first let’s look at some other factors that you may not be aware of!.
Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder
Check out some of these International Dating Profiles:
Coming from the West we just assume that girls like these would have dozens of suitable men from their own countries hounding them for dates.
But this is not always the case.
The differences in the way “Desirability” is viewed in the West and the East has opened up a whole new world of opportunity for the Western male.
When you tell your petite, dark skinned Filipina girlfriend that she is beautiful, she might strongly disagree.
And the fact is, in her eyes she is not beautiful.
Because in Philippines culture WHITE skin is the beauty ideal. Try to find a bar of soap in The Philippines that doesn’t contain “Whitening Agents”
You can’t! Believe me I’ve tried.
It’s the same in Thailand and China. The Chinese conception of beauty is towards paler skin. If a women has what we consider nicely tanned skin then she may be considered quite ugly in China and thus not able to secure a boyfriend or husband.
Of course – it’s not just the color of her skin that keeps many Chinese women from finding love in their own country. There are also other discriminating factors at work as well.
If a women is over thirty or not a virgin she may not be considered suitable for marriage. If the women is divorced or if she has a child, or if she is from a poor rural family she may not be considered a suitable partner.
There are all sorts of cultural issues non-natives barely know exist.
Nothing embodies the cultural issues women face than the phenomena of Sheng Nu.
This is a term loosely translated as “Forgotten Women” which is applied to Chinese women over the age of about 23 who are considered “Too Old” to get a Chinese boyfriend or husband.
That a beautiful Chinese woman might be considered an old maid at twenty-four is shocking to most American or European men in their forties or fifties.
Worse, in the eyes of many Chinese women is that when they catch a man – he ain’t much of a catch. China Daily, one of the largest newspapers in China, discussed why so many Chinese women like Western men and it was a pretty amazing description.
Generally speaking, western men have some advantages in Chinese women’s eyes… They supposedly shower and change their underwear every day. They are supposedly considerate to women, romantic, and good in bed. Western men are thought to be well-educated, easy-going, humorous, polite, confident and independent. They are thought to attach great importance to their own rights while respecting other people’s privacy and choices, they value quality of life and they have many hobbies.Why Do Chinese Women Date Western Men?
You probably should click on the link and read the whole article. It is amazing Chinese women ever marry a Chinese man.
Women across Southeast Asia have similar challenges, both with cultural traditions and with men who simply do not treat them as well as the Western men they see portrayed on television, in movies, and on the internet.
It’s not just China where beautiful, intelligent women have trouble finding a partner. The same types of social dynamics are at work in many other places in the world. These types of cultural forces are at the very root of the modern “Mail Order Bride” movement.
You are a Prince!
You might not be aware of it yet but you are a prince in shining armour.
The way that you act towards women may not seem like anything great to you.
But to a women who is accustomed to men who either treat her as a servant or sex object it certainly is.
As a Western male we take for granted the fact that we should take our wife out on dates. Buy her flowers, treat her nicely and hold her hand.
But this is not the norm in many countries.
The sad fact is that in many parts of the world the grinding reality of many men’s economic life mean that these small gestures are beyond them.
When you combine a dissatisfying work life with cultural attitudes towards woman that aren’t exactly enlightened then you create an environment that is not conducive to romance.
The traditional view of women in many countries is not much better than glorified housekeeper. And among young men the situation is sometimes even worse. These men have no interest in getting married and are only interested in sex.
With all these factors at play it is not surprising that many foreign women are looking for a western male to treat them nicely and to be a supportive husband.
The kind of life that you can offer in the West is like a fairy tale to many of these women.
I currently live in The Philippines. The women here are friendlier than anywhere in the world. And I hear the same story over and over again.
The girl had a Filipino boyfriend who got them pregnant then took off – leaving them with a baby, or 2 or 3 to take care of all on their own. This is no easy chore in the West, but in the Philippines, which has no social services or child support it is a monumental task.
Neither does Russia, Ukraine, or most of the countries in Latin America. If a woman gets pregnant by a guy who is a jerk and does not want to help raise the child she is just out of luck.
Slavic Women Dating Overseas
The women across Eastern Europe are drive towards dating overseas by slightly different reasons. First, there is alcoholism. Booze is a bane to women in Russia, Ukraine, Moldova, and Belarus.
Russian governments from the age of Peter the Great to Vladimir Putin have tried to contain the tradition of heavy drinking without much luck. Finally, in the last five or six years, with the help of unrelenting anti-drinking public service campaigns, Russian men began to drink less.
Then the pandemic hit and drinking started rising across Russia again!
Alcoholism is a major problem in Eastern Europe to Southeast Asia, and Latin America, and it is not a shock that these are regions where the most women sign up with mail order bride agencies. Because if you are drinking a liter of vodka a day, like many Ukrainian men do, you are not going to be a great mate. Unfortunately, many times spouse abuse goes hand in hand with these men’s drinking habits. Here is a quote from an American law review article:
“There is an old, Russian saying ‘chicken is not a bird; woman is not a human being’; this is the type of culturally ingrained sexism that Russian women deal with on a daily basis.”The Mail Order Bride Phenomena
How many sexy Eastern European woman going to want to put up with that? These are women who watch Surivivor, and see every romantic comedy Hollywood puts out.
Also, they now about the avowedly feminist tradition of the old Soviet Union where women were snipers, fighter pilots, and cosmonauts. Their grandmothers were respected and they want to be respected as human beings too.
But they get almost no protection under the law. In Russia domestic violence does not exist in any meaningful sense after the passage of a 2017 law that decriminalized all but the most serious physical attacks. In Ukraine the situation is similar and it is not hard to imagine why women would want to move away from such a country.
Am I saying that all Pilipino men are Philanderers, that Chinese men never change their underwear, and all Russian men are drunks?
No, of course not.
There are many great guys in other countries, but culturally the West has a leg up when it comes to how we treat our women.
And these foreign girls know that!
Many of the countries that these women come from just don’t afford them the same opportunities that they will have for themselves (and their children) if they marry a man from New South Wales or New York.
In highly developed countries these ladies can potentially get an education and pursue their interests, and for most of them their daily lives are simply going to improve.
The living conditions in parts of the world such as Latin America, Eastern Europe, and South East Asia are far from what many would consider the “American Dream”.
Economically, these women have a reason to want to date and potentially marry a man from a country that’s highly-developed and that can offer them things that people in the West often take for granted!
like reliable electricity and indoor plumbing.
For many of these women, meeting a man online through an international dating agency is the only way to realize the life they deserve.
Does that mean these women are gold-diggers or lazy?
Far from it. In fact, many foreign women are more motivated, more intelligent, and more driven than women you might date locally.
More Women than Men
Studies indicate that countries such as Russia actually have more women than men, which is another motivating factor for a lot of these women.
Instead of fighting over the men that are “left over” they choose to look abroad for a man that they can build a relationship with on their own terms.
When they enter the online, international dating arena, they have a much larger pool of potential partners to get to know than if they were just focusing on men in their own country.
A Broader View of What Makes a Man “A Good Catch”
In the Western world attraction is assessed on such a narrow set of criteria – it’s like high school. All the girls are programmed to want the same 5 guys – and if you aren’t one of them then you are shit out of luck.
In other parts of the world this is not the case – women look at alot more than your looks or what kind of car you drive when they are deciding if you are potential mating material.
So, if you are bald or fat or on the wrong side of 50, if you are a bit socially awkward and don’t drive a brand new Lexus, don’t sweat it.
There is some girl out there in a far off land and to her you are the guy she has been waiting for!
You just need to get out there and find her.