Top 5 Myths
There are a lot of crazy myths about mail order brides. We get asked about these all the time. Most of the crazy stuff falls into three broad categories.
First, many of these theories are outdated stories from the early years of modern international dating. Nothing ever disappears from the internet, but in 1990s there were no regulations on marriage agencies or resources for men to counter scammers.
Today the United States has extensive regulations on international marriage brokers. Other nations including Canada, the UK, Australia, and New Zealand also have regulations. Also, there are a lot more tools to check for scammers like Google Image search.
Second, many of the myths are the result of the relentless feminist propaganda against international dating. Often these academic theories get repeated constantly in the mainstream media, because of laziness or the success of the feminist narrative. But the truth today is far more positive.
Third, romance is always hard. It does not matter where you meet a woman or how you court. It can be an arranged marriage. It can start as a one night stand at a nasty truck stop in Shawnee, Oklahoma, or you can meet her at a MENSA meeting. Romance, it can be immensely rewarding, but love sometimes kicks you in the nuts. When it does it hurts and it is human nature to blame someone.
Many of the men who do not succeed with a woman from overseas automatically blame dating agencies, scammers, or whatever. Usually, the men are mostly to blame, but they get online and scream and cry and accuse.
Yes, there are still issues with scammers, but if you are clear about what you are looking for you can generally avoid the real scams. International dating agencies are much more professional, technological changes have made some of the most common scams from the early years impossible, and, although it is odd, some of the changes demanded by the feminist have made it safer for men and women.
Today Western men and women around the world have a more realistic understanding of the pros and cons of seeking a mate overseas. That may be the most important change of all.
You’re about to learn the truths behind the most common myths associated with global dating, so you can make an educated decision on whether or not it’s for you.
You may be surprised by what you’ll learn!
But the best unbiased evidence is probably from the 2016 book, Buying a Bride: An Engaging History of Mail-Order Matches by Marcia A. Zug which was published by NYU Press. She is amazingly positive about international dating.
Zug admits that when she first started researching international dating she was influenced by the pervasive feminist propaganda. She writes that,
As I started my research, I expected to find that modern mail-order marriages are fundamentally harmful and that these problems are long-standing. I was surprised that this is not what I found.
The more research she did the more she realized that modern transnational romance was not destructive and sometimes criminal. She discovered that much of the feminist propaganda was based on unproven theories not government reports, data from the dating agencies, or, most importantly, systematic interviews with the actual couples.
Yes, there had been a tiny number of tragic cases, most famously the Svetlana King murder, but most of the harshest criticism was completely unfounded. For Zug this was a shock, but eventually she realized that generally international dating is good for men and often the single most positive event to ever happen to the women. She concludes that,
Today’s mail-order brides and grooms are not a throwback to an earlier, unenlightened time. Instead, like most of us, they are simply men and women who believe marriage will improve their lives, and we should support their choice.
And that is impressive, but what is more impressive is that this conclusion was published by one of the most respected academic presses in the United States. Academic presses require outside reviews by other professors before they publish a book and if the outside reviewers object the book will either not be published or re-written to address the objections of the other academics.
The fact that other professors hired by NYU Press to review Buying a Bride and shoot holes in Zug’s analysis, which is the main purpose of the outside reviewers, could not do it is stunning. Only ten years earlier in 2006 Congress passed The International Marriage Broker Regulation Act of 2005 (IMBRA) on the assumption that international dating was vile, destructive practice that needed to be tightly regulated.
If you or any of your friends or family members still have any doubt about finding a companion through this process read the excerpts of Buying A Bride. It gives plenty of evidence to answer any reasonable concerns.
The Girls Just Want a Green Card – These Marriages Never Last
Many people make the assumption that marriages that have resulted from international dating don’t last, because the women are simply interested in obtaining legal residency in the United States or another Western country. That is simply a media fiction.
The sad truth in our society today is that heartbreak and horror stories sell a lot better than stories that touch the heart, so “Green card bride horror stories” sell a lot better than stories about the thousands of happy marriages.
Sure, there are isolated cases where a girl cons some poor guy out of some cash and then takes off once she gets her papers, but the reason you hear about these things is because they sell newspapers and get ratings on TV.
This sort of thing is NOT happening all the time. There are millions of sweet, sexy, and caring young women that truly want a long-term relationship with a Western man.
In fact, the best official estimates in the United States and the European Union show that marriages that start on international dating sites are actually more successful overall than other marriages.
Dr. Robert J Scholes, in an official report to the United States Congress, noted…
…marriages arranged through these services would appear to have a lower divorce rate than the nation as a whole; fully 80 percent of these marriages have lasted over the years for which reports are available.
One explanation for this might be the fact that both the bride and groom have a real expectation to make this work. After all, if a person is moving halfway around the world to be with someone, they’re typically going to be serious about the relationship.
There’s also the fact that there’s a lot larger pool of potential pairings when you venture outside of your community. With international dating you’re putting yourself out there to meet people all over the world, so statistically your odds of finding someone compatible are much higher than dating only locally.
Many people will say that these women are only interested in marrying foreign men because it improves their standard of living. There is some merit to this, but keep in mind, “improving one’s circumstances” is part of the “dating ritual” with domestic dating as well.
In a way, being able to offer these women an opportunity to live in a society that doesn’t degrade women, but rather gives them unlimited opportunities is just one of the many things that you contribute to the relationship.
Lisa Simmons, whose dissertation is easily the best academic study of the modern mail order bride phenomenon, and her discussion of why women around the world are seeking out Western men deserves to be quoted at some length.
She wrote that:
In addition to believing that marrying a foreigner would contribute to financial security, all of the women in my sample strongly articulated the belief that an American man would make a better emotional partner than would a man from their own country. They felt that a marriage should be based on mutual love and respect; and they wanted a man who would be able to provide the sort of emotional support that they felt was not easy to find among their own countrymen.
The emphasis on quality of relationship was an unexpected finding because this aspect of international marriage has not been the focus on much media coverage.
Divorce rates must also be considered when it comes to this myth. When you look at domestic divorce rates in the United States estimated at 48-54% and divorce rates in the EU not trailing too far behind that, it’s quite refreshing to see data that suggests that marriages that result from international relationships have divorce rates that track significantly lower.
In fact, Switzerland reported that marriages between Swiss men and foreign women were approximately 10% less likely to end in divorce than marriages between Swiss men and women.
A recent essay on Russian mail order brides at Columbia University admitted that…
Nonetheless, mail-order marriages are less likely to end in divorce than marriages overall in the United States: divorce rates in mail-order marriages for which the courtship period lasted more than 4 months were between 35.8 and 41.3 percent when compared to the overall US divorce rate which is 48 percent.
Here’s A LINK to that report in case you want to check it out for yourself.
Foreign Dating Is Only For Losers Who Can’t Get a Date in Their Own Country
This one is incredibly FALSE! First off, foreign dating agencies are just like domestic dating services. If you will remember back a few years, there was a stigma about using online dating sites like Match.com in the beginning, but now the concept of finding a partner online is WIDELY accepted.
And yes, there are men who should not be pursuing international dating. But those guys should probably not be trying to date ANYONE!
And there is a long rich history of international dating. Mail order brides helped settle the frontier. International dating is not just some strange modern development like chai lattes.
Millions of decent guys utilize online dating as a resource to find the “loves of their” lives, and there are countless success stories of people who have met lifelong partners online. International dating simply takes the idea of online dating and moves it to the next level. In fact, Match.com even offers an international dating service now, so they can obviously see the benefits of international dating.
Instead of only having access to women in your country, you can now meet women from around the entire world. It increases the odds of finding “the one” and allows you to expose yourself to various worldwide cultures.
Think about it for a second… With almost 7 billion people on the planet, is it really logical to think that everyone’s soul mate lives in the same city, state, or even country? Of course not!
Just 100 years ago, think about how difficult, time consuming and expensive traveling around the world was. Now, the world is literally at your fingertips. With cell phones, the internet, cheap and even free international calling, supersonic jets, and relatively inexpensive travel expenses, making global connections is easier than ever.
Using Anastasia’s amazing suite of communications tools is one of the easiest ways possible to chat with incredibly beautiful women from around the world. You can literally make meaningful romantic connections with anyone anywhere in the world. Geography is no longer a boundary to consider when it comes to meeting that special someone.
It just makes you wonder how many people missed out on truly meeting their soul mates in generations past because they were unable to travel easily on an international scale. Perhaps that’s why we see a higher divorce rate in domestic marriage relationships? When you don’t limit love to your backyard, you have the potential to truly meet the love of your life.
With international dating you can also get away from the mundane. When you meet and cultivate a relationship with someone from another part of the world, you get to learn all about a culture other than your own.
It can also give you a good reason to travel to places you never imagined visiting. It really does add to the adventure. This can be rewarding for both you and her on so many different levels. When you look at everything foreign dating has going for it, it certainly seems MUCH more appealing than just meeting that boring girl next door…
International Dating Agencies Are All Just Scams
While there are a lot of scams out there, that could certainly be said about almost anything these days. What most people don’t realize is that using an international dating agency is just as safe as making a purchase at a well-known online retailer.Just like online shopping you must deal with reputable international dating agencies.
Helping people stay safe and not get scammed is incredibly important to us, so here at International Love Scout, we’ve researched all of the sites that we’ve featured girls from to weed-out as much of the risk as possible and provide you with a pleasant dating experience.
Not only do we watch out for the scammers for you, but we also give you the scoop on shady operations, or anything else that we deem to not be on the up-and-up.
We want your quest for finding the love of your life to be as risk-free and enjoyable as possible. Unfortunately, scams can never be completely eliminated, but if you use a little common sense, just like you do when you’re shopping or paying bills online, you can avoid almost all of the online dating scams out there.
Here are some tips to keep your quest for love on the right track:
- This is a big one… Never send money to a girl! Now, this rule sounds pretty easy to follow, but you’d be surprised at how many guys end up sending money even though it goes against their better judgment. So, if you’re going to send money, at least wait until you have been communicating with someone for six to eight weeks. This will minimize your risk substantially.
- Make sure the girl you’re corresponding with is replying with direct answers to your questions. Watch out for copy/pasted replies and/or “form letters”. These types of responses are a huge red flag that something is not right.
- Don’t propose without meeting the girl. Again, this sounds like common sense, but a lot of guys propose before they even meet the girl they’ve been communicating with. You wouldn’t do this offline, so it’s best to avoid doing this online as well. If someone is trying to pressure you into a rushed decision regarding marriage or anything else, you need to take a step back and evaluate the situation.
- Use a reputable agency and read the information about the agencies you’re considering working with very closely because the level of service you’ll experience will vary widely from agency to agency. One of the big reasons many men believe they’ve been scammed is because they didn’t fully understand what the agency they were working with was actually offering. Some agencies make it a habit to make you “dig” to get ALL of the information. Although this isn’t a true scam, it’s something to watch out for. Know what the fee structures and costs look like going in and budget your spending wisely.
- Just because you got your heart broken, does not mean you got scammed. Heartbreak occurs in all walks of life whether you’re dating domestically or internationally. Sometimes things just don’t work out, and you have to be mindful of the fact that even under the best circumstance most relationships don’t turn into lifelong romances. Make sure your expectations are realistic going in. Can you find the love of your life through international dating? You bet! Will it be the first person you start talking with… Who knows? That’s one aspect of dating that doesn’t change regardless of the venue.
The big thing to take away from this list is to do your homework and use common sense.
Surely Those SUPER-HOT Girls Can’t Be Real?!
One of the things most guys notice when they start looking at international dating sites is all of the beautiful women.
While it’s true in the old days of foreign dating many of the profile pictures were of “Natasha” but the emails were actually coming from “Boris.” This is more or less a dead scam if you’re working with a reputable agency and not even possible if you are using modern technology.
The fact is these beautiful girls are REAL and they are looking for Western men.
These women have a lot of good reasons for wanting to pursue a Western guy. The biggest thing is that they all come from highly paternalistic societies and they know that Western men treat their women better.
And of course, they want more economic opportunity for themselves and their children, sure but most money is not what they are really looking for, not first. What these women really want love, romance, and respect.
They often do not get a lot of respect at home. Read, about the Chinese women who are regarded as old maids at twenty-one regardless of how beautiful or accomplished they might be they are Sheng Nu, unwanted.
Or read about the bias and constant abuse that women often face in Russia and Ukraine and you will understand why so many Eastern European women sign up with international dating sites.
The women are real, but, although the reputable agencies do everything they can to prevent scams, they’re not perfect, and it goes back to having a little common sense and paying attention to the tips we’ve mentioned above.
You greatly minimize your risks by being smart AND working only with reputable agencies.
There are literally thousands of dating agencies on the web, some of them are downright shady. Below is a list of International Dating Sites you might want to take a look at; they are the best known, biggest and are generally considered to be the most legit of the bunch.
And most of these sites have FREE sign-ups so you don’t need to spend a dime to poke around their sites for a while and get the feel of things.
If you want a more in-depth analysis of the best International Dating Sites online today just click that link you just passed and read our massive review.
Best International Dating Sites
Russian and Eastern European Dating Agencies
Latin Dating Agencies
Asian Dating Agencies
- A Foreign Affair
- Cherry Blossoms
- Thai Love Links
African Dating Agencies
Global Dating Sites
If you just can’t make up your mind and want to contact women from all over the world these sites are for you:
Foreign Dating Is Only For Rich Guys
One of the big reasons most men don’t attempt to date internationally is the myth that doing so requires you to be rich. Many men believe that these beautiful young women are only interested in money and nothing else.
This can’t be further from the truth. Sure, many of these women may look at international dating as a means to meeting someone and potentially moving to a country with more opportunities, but many of these women are interested in foreign dating for the exact same reasons you are; International brides want more than money out.
They are truly looking for their soul mates and if they can find their soul mate in a place that also offers them social and financial advantages, what’s wrong with that?
It is true that some of the women that you’ll meet will be after money and rich guys, but how is that any different than dating domestically? Motives for trying to date someone vary from person to person.
There are hundreds of reasons why a woman would be looking to meet someone, but you’ll run into the same good things and bad things whether you’re dating locally or internationally.
Like you, a lot of the women you’ll meet dating internationally are looking for a solid connection, someone interesting, and many are looking for their soul mate, “the one”, and true love.
And one of the craziest things that has changed in recent years is that you might meet a Chinese or Russian girl who is actually richer than YOU! It can and does happen. Even in the United States, the European Union, or other Western nations men are still a little uncomfortable in a marriage where their wife earns more than them.
Well, that bias is MUCH stronger in Russia, Ukraine, China, and other nations where many women sign up for international dating sites. So, many women doctors, lawyers, engineers, and small business owners find it extremely hard to find a good mate and opt instead to purse a Western man who will be more understanding.
Yes, it is probably still very rare to actually meet a sugar momma on an international dating website, but they are out there. Maybe, you will get lucky and find a woman who can keep you in the sort of lifestyle you deserve. It can happen.
The main thing to keep in mind is that everyone is different and has different goals, dreams, and aspirations. Even though the dynamic of international dating is a little different than domestic dating, ultimately it’s about getting to know someone to see if your paths align.
There are plenty of regular guys that aren’t millionaires that have been highly successfully with international dating and have met some really amazing women. If you find that a girl is just after your money, if that’s not the type of girl you’re looking for, you can simply move on to the next girl just like you would if you were dating locally.
“Ok, so the girls aren’t all ‘gold diggers’, but isn’t international dating expensive?”
International dating can be expensive, but once again, domestic dating can be expensive too. Everyone has different tastes and different levels of income.
If you want to go jet setting around the world, you’ll need to have plenty of money and flexibility in your work, but there are tons of girls out there that you can meet through international dating agencies that don’t expect you to drop everything and come see them after the first conversation. (This isn’t smart anyway!)
You simply need to set a budget and stick to it. These days, if you plan your trips in advance and book your lodging and airfare wisely, you can often travel internationally for very reasonable rates.
I have regularly seen international airline tickets that were the same price or even cheaper than domestic tickets depending on when the flight was booked.
I’m Too Fat, Old or Ugly to Do This
Many men with an interest in international dating begin to get self-conscious and think that they wouldn’t be successful due to their physical appearance or age. This type of thinking is incredibly flawed.
A lot of beautiful women are looking to date internationally for reasons much deeper than finding someone young and handsome. If that’s all they were looking for, they could easily find young and attractive men in their own country and bypass the trouble, effort, and time involved with dating someone in a different country.
These are generally some of the most desirable women in their own countries, the top of the dating food chain and they don’t have any problem getting hit on by fit young guys. Look at the women on our Fit Chicks page. Do you think these fit, beautiful women do not get hit on all of the time?
These women are looking for a man that will treat them right and provide them with companionship and things that don’t have access to in their home countries. Sure, part of the reason they’re looking to meet someone in another country is the opportunity that it brings.
As you may know, in many of the countries where international dating is more popular for women, these women are often not given the same rights as men. Just like girls that you’d meet and date domestically, foreign girls are looking for a man that will treat them with respect and provide a safe environment for them. They want to be loved and find someone to love. Your age and the way your look are just a tiny piece of the puzzle.
As you begin to correspond with these girls, you’ll get to learn about them and they’ll learn about you. In a way, international dating provides a component that you can’t get when you date locally. You get to work on your relationship and get to know someone long before you meet them when you date internationally.
They know your age right away and they know that relationships between older men and younger women can work and work well.
You both get to know each really well on a personal level which helps to establish a stronger bond that makes your looks and your age less relevant than if you were dating locally and you met in person on the first date.
Many older men and men that our culture might not consider to be the most attractive have had tremendous success with international dating.
Okay, sure! if you’re 80 you’re gonna have to work a little harder than a 30 year old, but we’ve seen tons of profiles from attractive, intelligent women who are willing to take guys up to 99.
One profile I read recently even put 57-104 in her “acceptable age range”on her dating profile!
Most of the women’s profiles you will read on International dating sites will have a stated age rage – so if the girl is only interested in guys under 30 then you can just move on to the next profile.
Don’t let your age, looks, or the amount of hair on your head prevent you from taking the first step toward meeting the girl of your dreams.
Editor-in chief – An over educated international traveler, he sets ILS’ light, positive tone. Charlie constantly pushes to ensure every article is supported by good sources, preferably from peer reviewed journals, government reports, or top-flight newspapers and magazines.