Every man really wants to date a younger woman. It is a deep biological drive. There has been exhaustive research into this question by a group of Danish researchers using data from the dating site OK Cupid.
They examined messages and profiles of tens of millions of male users from around the world and it turns out that men are most attracted to 20 year old women.
Now, I am sure that shocks you, but guess what? The second most popular age for women was 21 followed by 22, 23, and 24. Wow!
These fellas were no dummies. They are incredibly smart, because some how they got OK Cupid to actually pay for this study. That is incredible.
This posse of Nordic PhDs could have discovered the same thing at any bar, restaurant, gym, or VFW Post in about ten minutes.
They could have had a quick chat of a Marine platoon or simply read a Hollywood gossip column. Because virtually every male star is either dating or married to a younger woman or will be eventually.
So, the fact you are interested in dating a young woman is nothing to be ashamed about. It is completely natural. And relationships between older men and younger women can work.
Dating a younger woman is not complicated, but there are a handful of land mines that well meaning men often stumble into unknowingly. The idea of this cheat sheet is to help you avoid those pitfalls.
1. Do Not Criticize Her Youth
You are interested in this woman in large measure because of her age so never EVER criticize her because of her youth.
That means do not criticize her generation’s music, movies, television shows, or fashion. This is the dumbest mistake an older man can make. Not everyone was lucky enough to come of age during the Golden Age of Rock and Roll.
You are attracted to this woman in large measure because she is young, so why criticize the trappings of being young? Yes, the Kardashian’s are annoying but every generation ends up with more than a handful of pointless celebrities.
Do not start sentences with, “When I was…” or “It was better…..”
Do not criticize Millennials. If she doesn’t know she will look it up.
Try to remember that every older generation has criticized every younger generation going right back to the time of Caine and Able. It is a combination of fear and envy that is perfectly natural. Well, perfectly natural for everyone except older men trying to seduce younger women, so forget about it. In fact, try to be as positive about people in your lady loves generation as you possibly can.
Think of the young sports stars you admire or recent movies you liked. And remember, you like young women in large measure because they are young, so you need to try to be young at heart too. Do not criticize anyone in her age group that you don’t have to and give them compliments whenever you can.
You know eight track tape players were nightmare, basketball is better with the three point shot, and Starsky and Hutch was really pretty lame. And you certainly don’t want to let that old baggage damage your relationship with this amazing woman.
2. Be Calm
You are older. Show judgment. Be calm and patient. This is easier for some men than others, but often younger women enjoy the serene attitude of an older man. Younger guys are often hungry and in a hurry. You are older, make it a plus.
Never argue with her about stuff that doesn’t matter. This is one of the biggest mistakes that all men make, but you are older.
You do not really care if you go to a steak house or a seafood restaurant, so don’t argue about it. It is what it is. You have eaten a lot of steaks and a lot of good seafood. If the beautiful young woman you are with wants Mexican 99% of the time you should be happy to eat Mexican food wherever she wants to eat Mexican food.
It also gives you great ammo for when it is important to go somewhere you want to go. So, save the arguments for things that matter. The truth is most things don’t matter and nearly as much as the company of your beautiful younger woman.
Her company makes you feel better than a good steak or great seafood and for her you can even eat Mexican food no matter how much you hate it. Right?
The best thing about this approach is that often it comes off as wisdom. I really don’t know what wisdom, but if you can convince a smoking hot 26 year old Ukrainian fitness model you are wise, you sir are the MAN!
3. Be Fun
Enjoy yourself and the company of the beautiful young woman you are with. Dance if she wants to dance.
You are old enough not to care what anyone else thinks. They might be laughing with you or they might be laughing at you, but at least they are laughing.
Smile a lot and always remind yourself of how much better your situation is than so many of your friends who are stuck living in places like Bossier City, Louisiana; Sedalia, Missouri; and Shasta, California while you are getting to see the world. And if you do have to go back to Sedalia, well you are going back to Mid-Missouri on the arm of the hottest woman that old burg has seen in decades.
Smile because you have outsmarted your dumb bosses, judgmental neighbors, and annoying ex-wife. Smile because you are living the life you want to live and things are great.
Smile because you know that women love to be around fun happy men of any age.
4. Pay Attention
Women want you to listen. Be a good listener. This is also easier because you are older.
You have been around long enough to know that 99.99% of men don’t listen and if you simply listen to her talk and ask questions that show you are listening she will be impressed.
So, listening to her is one of the easiest ways to build her trust. It is cheap and does not require any agility. Just sit still and listen to what she is talking about whether it is mundane or incredibly deep. You may barely understand what she is saying, because her English might not be that great or because you really do not have a deep appreciation for the finer points of quantum mechanics, but just listen.
It will pay big rewards.
5. Be Romantic
Be romantic. You are old enough to let the world know you are absolutely besotted by this young woman. Let her know that every day.
Buy her little gifts regularly. Make her feel like a princess.
Don’t EVER talk about ex-wives or girlfriends. Even if you are telling her she is ten times better than her don’t do it. It will remind her how old you are and that you have had a lot of failed relationships and so on. It will make her wonder.
Just don’t do it.
Of course, if you have children it is a little different. She knows the stork didn’t bring them. Even then try not to talk about your ex-wife like you might with a woman your age, because it will highlight the age gap for her.
There is one exception to this rule. If you are a widower you get an exception, but still tread carefully. Reminiscing sweetly about your late wife will make her think you are the sweetest guy to ever live, but even then make sure she knows she is not competing against anyone.
6. Show Her Respect
Respect your beautiful young woman. If you have been following the previous five rules you will not even need to think about showing her respect it will just come naturally. Now, by respect I do not just mean being polite, although that is part of it, and I do not mean simply being kind. For me respect is a deeper concept.
Show respect to her by helping her live her dreams. Help her become the person she wants to be and have the life she wants.
This is the highest form of respect and one that can be tough to practice if you believe she is doing something dangerous or self-destructive, but normally that is rare.
But if she wants to open a little business or further her education you should help her. Maybe she wants to run a marathon. Encourage her to be the best person she can be and she will love you for it.
7. Be a Leader
There is a time for leadership. At the important moments do not hesitate to take command. You are an older man and you have probably survived a lot of hairy situations, so when things are tough step up and accept the responsibility of getting things in order.
Again, this is a matter of personal taste and style, but you girl know that you can take care of things in a pinch. Sometimes that means being wise enough not to get into a bad situation. Other times it means being able to put out the fire, defuse the bomb, or kill the vampire.
The truth is this is another area older guys often excel at because you probably have seen and done a lot of things. You know that sometimes a show of confidence is all that is required, but you also know that at times you have to take real action.
And it is easy to be brave when you are older, because well…. You probably don’t really give a damn about your personal safety. You know it is better to die a good death than live a coward’s life and you are going to do the right thing.
That isn’t the sexy message they send in the action movies, but I have seen it play out in real life and I believe it is true. Nothing is more dangerous than a wily and determined older man fighting to save the woman he loves.
If you are still entranced by the idea of dating a younger woman you should just do it! Man, you have read enough, thought enough; sometimes you have to simply get up and move forward towards what you want.
She is probably twenty or twenty-one and every other man from 17 to 107 wants her too.
But if you need more information we have another good article: Dating Younger Women – Can It Work?
That should be enough to get you to go ahead and start journey towards a relationship with one of the young women on our site.
American Expat currently residing in the Philippines. He became interested in mail order brides after his wife of twenty-four years left him for his youngest daughter’s gym teacher – her female gym teacher.