What is a Mail Order Bride?
The simple answer to this question is that a mail order bride is a woman who marries a man from another country. The term is archaic, but it goes back to a time where companies sold addresses to men in the form of a catalog.
Today these are simply women who sign up for a website that caters to men beyond their own countries, usually the United States and Western Europe.
That is why we use the term mail order bride and international dating interchangeably, because a mail order bride is simply a woman engaging in international dating.
Foreign Women Seeking Serious Relationships
If you are thinking about pursuing foreign girls for marriage there are several issues that you should consider. The first of course is what area of the world you are considering pursing a bride from?
There are cultural differences between say Eastern European lady and an Asian woman, but you should avoid falling into the trap of stereotyping foreign brides, because this can fatally poison your relationship before it ever starts.
The foreign women who sign up for international dating agencies are individuals and you should never forget that fact. You can find a Russian woman who is totally submissive and there are Filipinas who are pushy type A women.
Whatever grain of truth existed in the national stereotypes has changed, because the countries where most of the mail order brides today come from have under gone enormous social, political, and economic change in the last twenty-five years.
Russian ladies that grew up in the last dreary days of the crumbling Soviet Union had vastly different life experience than young Russian bride who grew up with the internet in a more or less free society. So, the old stereotype of an Eastern European lady as a pushy, materialistic, green card bride, which was always a gross exaggeration of the worst Russian ladies, is much less true today.
The same thing hold true for the myth of submissiveness among Latin and Asian ladies. Yes, when Commodore Perry first sailed into Tokyo Bay Japanese women were very submissive, because Japanese society was highly ordered and because there were very stiff penalties, including potential violence, for women that violated the social norm as a submissive woman.
However, modern Japan and the Japan of a hundred and fifty years ago is wildly different and you should not expect to meet Madame Butterfly when you visit Tokyo today.
How Does Mail Order Bride Dating Work?
Luckily, sometimes we get really easy questions like, “How does mail order bride dating work?”
That is simple. It works a lot like other dating, but better. There is actual evidence for that from a variety of academic sources. Even the researchers are not exactly sure why, but marriages that start on international dating sites actually tend to last longer on average than other marriages.
Don’t believe me go read this article about Divorce and the Mail Order Bride. It is load with stats and links.
It you want more evidence check out the best book about mail order brides. The facts are clear that mail order bride dating works very well for both the men and the women.
Meeting Mail Order Brides
The process of meeting mail order brides is actually pretty simple. Well, it can be simple. There are a lot of sites where you can meet foreign women. You can meet foreign girls on Facebook or a dating app like Tinder.
The problem with that approach is that there are some pretty serious logistical and cultural problems with meeting foreign women. First, you have to get to go wherever the woman is and then you have to navigate the local culture.
Do you know her language? Yes, Google Translate can really help, but it can be a struggle to find a good translator you can trust.
For all of these reasons we are huge and unabashed fans of A Foreign Affair. They have tour guides, translators, dating coaches, and drivers in more countries than any other international dating agency.
So, even if you meet your lady on another site AFA is a great resource to lean on to help you solves some or all of those logistical problems.
There used to be more sites that offered these services, but today AFA is one of the few that still help men and women meet face to face. That is huge.
What You Need to Get a Mail-Order Bride
Guys wonder what they need to meet a mail order bride. Well, it is easy to meet mail order brides. All you have to do on our site is click on any of the CONTACT ME buttons and follow the instructions.
It is super easy.
You do need a credit card, but if you don’t have a credit card you probably do not need to get a woman involved in your life. But it is not expensive. You can get in touch with most of the women on International Love Scout for less than $10.00 – usually a lot less – but there is more to getting a mail order bride than simply contacting her.
Financially, for most guys the cost is pretty simple. We have a whole article about the cost of mail order bride if you want more details, but frankly the costs of a mail order bride are not beyond the means of most middle class men in North America, Europe, or Australia.
If it was just about finances the would be ten times more mail order brides in your town. But international dating is a little more complicated than just finances.
Fears About Mail Order Brides
We live in a world awash in fear and paranoia. We get searched more carefully to fly to Cleveland than anyone got searched for a private meeting with the pope, a president, or a prime minister before 2001. We get scanned, sniffed, and patted down.
Until very recently in human history the all news was local news. Everything beyond probably five or ten miles from your house was either rumor, myth, or history, and often even that was in short supply.
And of course, we get a steady diet of nightmare crime stories on the television and the internet all day every day that terrorizes Chuck Norris.
Overcoming this ingrained fear is probably the most difficult thing for most men, because there has been a thirty-year propaganda campaign by well meaning, but utterly uninformed feminists.
Don’t believe me? Check out this crazy story!
Anyhow, these ignorant activist have actually hurt the women they are trying to protect, because they actually have invented many of the most common scam stories. Because they are so certain they are right they do not go looking for evidence that mail order brides are actually scammers. If you think I am exaggerating read this book.
The arrogance and lack of evidence for green card marriages and other mail order bride scams will shock you. But yes, mail order bride scams do happen. We have an article about that if you want more information on that problem.
But our position is that love is always tricky and the benefits of success far outweigh the risks of being scammed. If you want to date a younger woman you can. If you want to date the most beautiful girls in the world you can. So, the benefits of international dating are incredible.
You just have to get past the irrational fears. So, what you really need is to be BRAVE and try to find the great love of your life – the woman of your dreams. She is out there somewhere.
Find Girls for Marriage at International Love Scout
You really have to track very far off the beaten path to find foreign girls who are not a part of the broader world culture on some level. Yes, there are Russian ladies who have never been online and Chinese girls whose family raised her to honor and always obey her husband.
However, today those foreign girls still probably know who Brad Pitt is and have some idea of current fashion and even more important know that women in the US and the European Union lead vastly different lives than they live.
Remember, foreign girls are signing up with Global dating agencies, because they are not happy with their marriage prospects in their home country, not simply to make you happy.
In fact, the whole concept of the submissive mail order bride is simplistic and poorly thought out and it is a trap that can ruin your relationship before it ever starts. Think about the process of what a girl goes through on the road to becoming a mail order bride and you will realize that very few truly submissive wallflowers are going to have the guts to go down that path.
Regardless of where a foreign lady grew up, it takes confidence and intelligence for a woman to turn away from men in her own country and decide instead try to marry a man from another part of the world.
She may be facing awful economic and social conditions, but it still takes courage, vision, and a sense of hopefulness for a foreign woman to make the choice to sign up with a global dating agency.
So, choose an area of the world based on what seems interesting to you for your international marriage and perhaps on your experience with immigrants from the area, but don’t simply accept the old stereotypes.
Date And Marry A Younger Women
One of the main attractions of international marriage for many men is the undeniable attraction of marrying a younger woman. This attraction for younger women at the height of their child bearing potential is obviously hardwired into men.
Not that older women do not have many charms, but the pursuit of younger women by older men is prevalent in every major cultural group around the world.
However, before you begin the process of pursuing a young foreign bride you need to ask yourself some important questions. First, are you interested in a particular young lady or younger ladies in particular?
This is a critical distinction.
If there is a growing mutual attraction between you and a particular younger woman, regardless of a large age difference, that is probably a good thing.
If on the other hand you are simply attracted to younger women, because they are young that is probably a sign of trouble. Do you believe that younger women are really any fundamentally different emotionally and psychologically than their older sisters? They aren’t.
They are just in a different place in life, but taken as a whole they have the same desires, demands, and concerns as older women. And if you have a long term relationship with a younger woman she is going to get older. Think about that.
You will not be able to mislead her or scam her, well not for long. So, give up any overt or subliminal desires to control a younger woman, because this is perhaps the single most corrosive thought that can creep into any relationship and it will almost certainly eventually doom the marriage.
There is nothing wrong about being open to dating and perhaps marrying a younger woman, but do not fixate on it. And recognize that she is going to grow and develop throughout your relationship, in fact, whether you are twenty-five or eighty-five, so will you.
So, be flexible about the dynamics of your relationship, because they will change.
Next consider for a moment if you are mature enough to marry a younger woman? You know the what the real causes of failure in your earlier relationships were. And some, perhaps even most, of the blame for those failures was yours. That is the honest truth and it is critical.
Be honest with yourself and try to grow as a person. If do not recognize your own weaknesses and try to correct them then you are just asking for a world of hurt and humiliation. If you bring the same set of beliefs to this new relationship that you used in your earlier failed relationships the end result is almost certainly going to be the same.
Dating Foreign Girls – What to Expect
Take some time to read up on successful relationships. One of the great advantages of dating a foreign bride is that it will take you at least a few weeks, and usually a few months, before you can actually go see her in person. Use that time to try to take an honest assessment of your issues and work on them.
There are thousands of good books about relationships, read a few and try to put appropriate ideas to good use in your life.
Be flexible. A younger woman is going to surprise you, because she has grown up in a different world from you. In the most successful May-December romances this is what helps to keep the spark alive, but you have to be willing to see that these surprises as good things that bring you both closer together.
Get ready for the strong reactions you will receive from friends and family? You may believe you know what to expect, but you will probably be surprised. The jealous and judgmental reaction from both men and women will probably surprise you.
If you have kids, particularly if they are close in age to your new wife, they are going to be surprised. Let them know that this new relationship makes you very happy and does not change your love for them.
Finally, keep an open mind about age when pursuing girls for marriage, because you may find that you are actually more attracted to women who are a little closer to your age when you meet them in person.
Editor-in chief – An over educated international traveler, he sets ILS’ light, positive tone. Chuck constantly pushes to ensure every article is supported by good sources, preferably from peer reviewed journals, government reports, or top-flight newspapers and magazines.