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Dating After Divorce: International Dating Is a Great Option

International dating a great option for all sorts of single men.  It literally opens a world of romantic options, puts a man in control of his own destiny, and takes a lot of pressure off him, because almost any man using a reputable international dating agency is certain of meeting at least a few women he is attracted to who are also interested in him. 

It is good for hard charging businessmen who wake up one day and realize there is more to life than profits and losses.  For retired military men who realize that they want to have a real family after the separate from the service international dating is often a godsend from trying to explain to American women what they have been doing for the last twenty years. 

It is often the only way for deeply introverted men to ever experience real success with women because any Western man is more desirable overseas than he is in the Midwest, the Midlands, or Munich.  Beautiful women all over the world want to meet American and European men.  

So, it is an incredible option for a lot of guys in a variety of situations, but the modern mail order bride system might be a bigger gift to men trying to start dating again after a divorce than for anyone. 

Divorce Is Traumatic

With apologies to Mr. Hobbs, “Divorce is nasty, brutish, and often not short at all.”  It often leaves emotional and financial scars that last a lifetime.  After a divorce many people leave a marriage with a sense of grief, embarrassment, and mortification.  At the very least there is a sense of failure.

No man has ever planned to meet an attractive woman, marry her, have three great kids together, learn to absolutely hate that woman, and eventually make two divorce attorneys very happy.  It just doesn’t work that way, but it happens that way in around half the marriages in the last forty years – at least in the United States.

For a lot of men going back on the dating market magnifies the loss of divorce.  You are forty or fifty and it is tough. 

For a lot of men dating after divorce is a minefield. It’s like going back to your old hometown twenty years after you left and seeing everything has changed. Dating today is not the same as dating was in the 1970s or even the 2000s.

And of course, you aren’t the same person you were in the 2000s either.  Neither of those things have to be negatives, but those changes come as a shock and make post-divorce dating a huge challenge for many men.

You are older and probably not in as good of shape.  If you are under forty you are probably extremely cynical about the world.  You probably want to be absolutely certain you do not make the same mistakes you just made with your wife ever again.  

If you are over fifty you are more than a little surprised the human race hasn’t managed to turn the entire planet into a smoldering hulk of radioactive waste ruled by cockroaches. 

And it is harder to attract women if you are conscious about your body and that grey hair, assuming you still have any left.  But the negative attitude that a lot of men bring with them to the dating scene after a divorce is absolutely catastrophic. 

Seriously, if you don’t trust women, how do you expect to get them to trust you?  Love is a two-way street and nothing ruins a man’s chances more than a cynical attitude.    

But there are advantages with having a few more candles on your cake and international dating allows you to leverage those advantages to win a beautiful young woman from somewhere far, far away.  To understand it you need to understand the nature of mail order brides.

What Is a Mail Order Bride?

If you stop and consider the nature of modern international dating for a moment you will understand why it can be such a godsend for lonely, older men. Because the advantages of an older man tend to really appeal to the women that sign up to meet foreign men.  

It may not exactly be a match made in heaven, but it is certainly a meeting of mutual goals, needs, and assets.  

These are brave young women who have made the choice to give up their family, their culture, their language, and sometimes their religion to marry a man from halfway around the world.  So, unlike in a regular dating scenario these women are motivated to find a man.

This means a lot of them will overlook your beer belly and horrendous eye for fashion or lack thereof.  They are not expecting you to be a have the body of a twenty-four-year-old outside surfer.  

They come from countries with macho, patriarchal cultures, and they know, from watching lots of Hollywood romantic comedies that American, Canadian, and European men are far more kind, generous, and easygoing than the common man in their home country.

It is the sort of thing that is hard to explain.  Here is how a recent editorial in the Moscow Times explained the situation women face in Russia today:

The judicial system in Russian does not encourage women to come forward. Only about 10 percent of rape cases reach the court: Harassment, stalking and other acts of intimidation largely go unheard. For a woman in Russia to admit she is the victim of harassment can even be dangerous. It can ruin her reputation and cost her her job. Women who go public with sexual harassment claims are scrutinized: Their photos, bodies, behavior and private lives are put under a microscope.

Moscow Times

So, if you are a normal Western man from Europe or one of the English-speaking countries you are going to seem like prince charming to these women if you have way try.  And most men in their forties or fifties know they will be happier if they make a little effort to be kind and patient. 

The story is very similar in Latin America and in Asia in some regards it is even worse.  In much of Asia a woman who is not married by the time she is 23 is an old maid.  If that seems shocking then you have probably never heard of China’s forgotten women.

An Older Man Is Attractive

So, an older man, particularly an older Western man, is attractive to many of these ladies because they see them as generally wise, kind, relaxed, and generous. And that takes a lot of pressure off of a recently divorced man trying to get his sea legs underneath him again. 

They are looking for a full-grown man who is calm, steady, and intelligence.  They want a protector not an abuser.  They want a man who has made his mistakes in life and is now ready to live a rich happy life.

And, yes, they also expect that you will be financially better off than almost anyone they might meet at home, but at heart they are not gold diggers

In fact, if you are honest with them the money is really not that big of a deal.  They know that they will still probably live a better life with an older Welshman, Australian, or Canadian than with a guy from their home country. 

So, for a normal guy international dating is about the most stress free way to date.   That is doubly true if you decide to take a romance tour and I highly urge you to take a romance tour.  There is no easier way to meet hundreds and hundreds of single women.  And if you are curious about that check out our super exciting guide to the best romance tours.

Dating Tips For Recently Divorced Men

Now that you know how easy international dating makes getting back into the swing of romance there are still a few tips you should follow regardless of how you get back in the game. 

This is not rocket science and you know most of this stuff but here are a few pointers to remember:

  • Tip #1: Do NOT criticize or ridicule your past wives or girlfriends.
  • Tip #2: Accept honest responsibility for your past relationship mistakes.
  • Tip #3: Show your date you are interested in moving forward not living in the past.
  • Tip #4: Do NOT talk negatively about your job or career prospects.
  • Tip #5: Explain your financial and emotional goals for the future.
  • Tip #6: Ask her about her goals and plans.
  • Tip #7: Listen to what she says about her problems, her plans, and her dreams.
  • Tip #8: Smile. Smile a lot.
  • Tip #9: Enjoy the date.  It is an adventure and a little change of pace. 
  • Tip #10: Resist the urge to judge the date until it is over. 

Good Luck!

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