Why Do So Many Russian Women Sign Up With Mail Order Bride Sites?
For years, there was a real stigma attached to the idea of either being a mail order bride, or being a western guy looking for a Russian woman to marry. People treated it as though the man was effectively buying a Russian woman to do nothing more than start a family, take care of his kids, and whatever sexual needs he might have. For the women involved they often felt a certain amount of shame that they couldn’t find a Russian man to fall in love with.
But the truth behind why so many Russian women sign up for mail order bride companies is completely different. Despite what you read in the media it has nothing to do with them becoming a sex slave, or being sold into the white slave trade by some unscrupulous dating agency.
There's an ongoing feminist uproar in the United States at the moment about just about everything, but Russian mail order brides get coverage too. If feminists actually looked at why Russian women decide to meet, date and marry foreign men they might have very different opinions on exactly why this type of arranged marriage is so popular.
Russian women are absolutely no different to most women from any other corner of the planet - they want to meet a guy, fall in love, and have a family. They’re just girls looking for men to build a future with.
The problem is they face far more serious challenges in achieving this goal than women in the west could possibly imagine. Even the idea of meeting a single, suitable male in the first place is very difficult for a number of reasons, which we cover later in this article.
It’s A Numbers Game
The simple truth is that Russian women simply want to find somebody to love, and they're forced to look overseas to make that happen. The idea of true romantic love isn't something they'll have an easy time finding at home because there are, for example, far more single women in Russia than single men - to the tune of 4 million more available women in the country than there are men to date them.
This situation is made very much worse by the fact that the handful of Russian males actually worth dating are leaving Russia in the hundreds of thousands. In fact, there's been an exodus of almost 2 million eligible bachelors in the last few years alone.
This isn't just creating a dating crisis, with an adverse effect on population growth and sustainability, it's also creating an intense skills problem. There are simply better opportunities for these men in the west, as well as more social freedom and a relatively independent media, for now.
From an employment point of view Russian women get paid up to 50% less for doing the exact same type of work as their male colleagues. Even the most intelligent and capable woman will have a very hard time working her way up the corporate ladder in her home country.
The west, in comparison, is the land of opportunity for them, because there are no limits to what a woman can aspire to achieve. This is reinforced by the number of very successful female Russian entrepreneurs in the United States, acting as a beacon of hope to future immigrants.
Location and Relocation
Russian women are curious and adventurous by nature, and want to see as much of the world as possible. It's not that they don't love their homeland, but they have an adventurous spirit, and welcome the challenge of relocating to another country - they're literally fearless.
Russia is a vast and often beautiful country, but it pales in comparison to the adventure offered by a life in the United States, Canada or Australia, for example.
Another key reason for so many Russian girls signing up to these sites is they see and hear of success stories, online and from friends who share the positive results possible when you date and marry a foreign man.
Instead of having to tolerate a life they don't enjoy, these happily married mail order brides are living a life their friends can barely imagine.
To Be Equal
These women want nothing more than to be treated as an equal in their marriage, and for it to be a true partnership. Unfortunately for them the stereotypical Russian guy isn't interested in that, and expects his wife or girlfriend to be nothing more than his obedient housewife, and to fulfill his sexual needs when he's sober enough to want sex.
Russian men also have a reputation for being habitual cheaters - infidelity is something they expect to get away with, and without their wife or girlfriend questioning why they're sleeping with other women.
So, where an American or Australian guy might have a psychological meltdown for even thinking about cheating on their girlfriend, their Russian counterpart will quite happily cheat on their girlfriends while they're at the same party or in the same club.
You have to witness it to believe it, but it genuinely does happen all the time. And then women won’t risk causing an argument about cheating because the end result is usually domestic violence, and watching their boyfriend/husband walk away without getting imprisoned.
Another huge consideration for why Russian women look overseas for love is that men in their country don't live very long.
The reasons for this will become obvious later in this article, but the shocking fact is that the average Russian male isn't expected to live past the age of 65, and that's without factoring in things like unexpected wars with foreign countries, increased rates of suicide, or anything else that can limit their life expectancy.
Russian girls are fully aware that the average American or European male will live to around 80 years of age, making him a better investment of her time and effort.
It might sound harsh, but no woman wants to marry a guy who's going to die fifteen years before she does, leaving her without any form of personal or financial support, and with a family of children to raise. Loyalty is all well and good, but never expect a Russian girl to be stupid enough to back a sick horse.
The dating game in Russia is also very similar to what happens in China and Japan in that if you're not married by the time you're 30 then you're going to struggle to find a single guy willing to settle down with you. Why?
Because single thirty-something women are basically considered to be spinsters – they’re “on the shelf” for the rest of their lives. This problem is magnified even more if the woman already has children, which they often do in the Russian Federation. The country has the highest number of single mothers anywhere in the developed world, and Russian men treat single mothers like plague monkeys.
Western men, on the other hand, have no issue with dating a single mom, even if she is from another country, often looking at the kids as a bonus because it's a "ready-made nuclear family".
She Wants to Be Safe
The subject of domestic violence is also usually very close to the heart of any Russian woman you speak to. In western countries, for the most part, women can consider themselves to be safe in public places, and especially at home. Domestic violence is frowned upon, and is punishable by long prison sentences for convicted offenders.
Russia is a different kettle of fish in this regard because domestic violence is simply part of life for 90%+ of women. Not only that but the law was changed recently to almost decriminalize domestic violence.
A man now literally has to break his wife's arms or legs before he'll face a prison sentence, and even then his time in prison will amount to no more than 24 months in total.
If you don't think domestic violence in Russia can possibly be that bad, then you might want to take a deep breath before you read this: Over 10,000 Russian women die in incidents of domestic violence each year. That's equivalent to the population of a small town being murdered each year, but nobody being prosecuted for the crime.
This is a disgusting development for women's rights in Russia, but domestic violence has been a fact of life for most Russian women now for as long as anyone remembers. Emigrating women realize that they're simply safer in a foreign country, often having far more rights and protection than they ever will in their country of birth.
So, as you can see, Russian women have dozens of valid reasons for signing up to online dating sites, or using marriage agencies to meet guys from other countries. They understand there’s no guarantee they'll have a better life in the US, Canada or the UK, but the odds are far more in their favor for that to be the case than if they remain in their home country.
Russian Mail Order Brides Today
Russian had enjoyed an economic boom right up to about 2006, but once the financial crisis took hold every country was affected, including the Russian Federation.
In the early days of the New Millennium there was a short period when Eastern European women weren’t investing as much effort in meeting foreign men as before; they just weren’t as interested as they had been in the past.
This was as a result of improved economic conditions in Russia for many people, but the good times came to an end. A decade of prosperity isn't enough for anyone to want to endure a lifetime of economic hardship, so Russian women are voting with their feet again and looking to other countries for a better life.
This has meant a dramatic increase in the numbers of attractive, single Russian women using online dating.
But have things in Russian really gotten that bad?
The Russian Federation has been in an economic tailspin now for almost ten years. What money is available is being spent on their military, plus crashing oil and natural gas prices means there's even less cash to go around than in quite some time.
This means a new generation of Russian women are growing up in conditions that are below the poverty line, the same poverty line that exists for almost 20 million Russian citizens.
Millions of Russian citizens are now experiencing the "bad old days" all over again with fuel shortages, wages going unpaid, and growing social unrest becoming all you can expect from life if you're not one of the wealthy elite.
Oddly enough even the wealthiest Russians are buying homes outside their own country, particularly in the more exclusive areas of London. You need to pay careful attention when even the wealthiest people are making their escape plans.
Job opportunities are also few and far between, despite the fact many Russian women are well educated, even by Western standards. Basically, the economic prospects of the Russian Federation are far from predictable, encouraging even more of their young women to look for love in foreign countries.
The Dating Pool
Several decades of warfare has reduced the pool of available and desirable Russian men to figures so small you'd need a magnifying glass to check them.
In addition to this a large proportion number of Russian men have chronic alcohol and/or substance addiction problems, which means they're far from being suitable boyfriends or husbands.
For the women who do marry alcoholics or junkies they can look forward to a very short, and very violent marriage, finally being left to raise their children alone. Even the most liberal Russian man will treat his wife as nothing more than a maid he's somehow fallen in love with, expecting her to be happy with that situation for the rest of her life.
The stereotypical blonde-haired, blue-eyed Russian hunks are as far removed from reality as Fifty Shades of Grey is from the dating experiences of most young women. The running joke now is that a desirable Russian male is a guy with some kind of job, most of his limbs, and at least a few teeth left - anything else is just a bonus.
Although it might seem like the entire world is ready to implode, the situation in Russia is far more volatile than either its President or Prime Minister would care to admit.
The Russian Federation has invaded several neighboring countries over the last few years, causing many Russians to raise their collective eyebrows in concern.
It's not much of an incentive to stay in Russia when you feel your country is constantly on the brink of warfare with at least one of its neighbors.
There’s been a definite resurgence in the number of Russian women looking to date foreign men, and you can see why.
Just remember that the decision to up and leave your country isn’t one any woman can make lightly, so as much as these women might consider leaving their country for economic or political reasons, it’s also about them looking to meet their perfect guy i.e. you.
Dating a Russian Woman
The first and most obvious attraction is their looks, but there's far more to these sexy Russian women than just their natural beauty.
Women from the middle classes tend to be well educated and driven, so in addition to getting the wife of your dreams you're also getting a business partner. Your mail order bride will work just as hard as you to make your lives together a success, and if you own a business she’ll work with you to make that a success too.
Embrace Gender Roles
Probably the biggest hurdle you'll face with a mail order bride is to snap her out of the submissive wife/girlfriend role, something which she learned from her own mother and grandmother.
Because Russia is a matriarchal society, women are expected to take care of the home and their men and not much else- their own dreams and desires never enter the picture. This means that Russian women are happy to put you first, even if that's the last thing you wanted or expected from your relationship.
She'll probably struggle against the idea of not just taking care of your needs, which is a very weird experience for any western guy. After all, you've spent most of your adult life taking second place to whatever your western girlfriend/wife wanted or needed.
So, in dating a Russian girl you're given the opportunity to create a real partnership with your wife-to-be.
Women from the Russian Federation are also extremely loyal to their partners, and are willing to work on the relationship if you two don't hit it off straight away. This is totally unlike what you'd experience with most American or European women - they'll run at the first sign of trouble, and then blame the guy for the relationship not working out.
Cheating on their husband isn’t something any Russian woman would consider to be acceptable, so as a rule they don’t do it.
Russian girls are very family oriented, so they will expect to start a family with you sooner or later. They care deeply about creating a comfortable home for you and your collective children - this is what they consider to be a "normal life", and she'll be quite happy if you can work towards this with her.
You also need to be aware that she'll come from a large family, and you'll be expected to get to know them. Russian families tend to be very warm and welcoming, so as long as you keep behaving like a gentleman towards their daughter/sister you won't have any problems.
This is in stark contrast to feminist America, where a growing number of women don’t rely on marriage for their financial independence. The unpleasant side effect of this is there are fewer children being born to American couples.
It's now fashionable for an American woman to wait until her mid-30s to consider having children, by which stage it's usually too late. You’ll find very few Eastern European women freezing their eggs in the hope they can get pregnant in their 40s.
Positive Mental Attitude
Another refreshing change is that your new girlfriend will have a positive outlook on most things in life, even though you probably expect Russians to be somewhat dour, this isn't true of the women. They don't see any point in wasting energy on being negative, so they don't enjoy being around negative or pessimistic people.
You might not be familiar with the dishes she cooks for you, but it won't take you long before you grow to love them. She'll have spent most of her life making the most of very little, and this really shines through in the way women from this corner of the world cook meals. If you really want to blow her mind then offer to cook for her - you'll be the first guy to ever offer to do that, and she won’t forget it in a hurry.
Some guys worry about the whole language barrier issue, but this tends to only be a problem if you're dating a Russian girl who comes from one of the smaller cities. Most of the women who come from the larger cities will speak at least conversational English, with many of them close to fluency in English.
Be Chivalrous. Often
You can score extra brown points by slipping into your "Knight in Shining Armor" costume - Russian women really dig chivalry, especially because they see so little of it from Russian men.
The general consensus is that even male feminists from Russia are just north of being sexist pigs and misogynists. So, your Russian girl will expect you to hold out her chair for her, and to act like a gentleman in pretty much everything you do.
By the way, this includes paying for the entire date, even if she was the one who set the date up in the first place. She's not being a miser with her money - it's just how things are done in Russia. This also means that she won't have any interest in you if you're lazy, sleazy or in any way misogynistic - there's more than enough Russian guys out there to fill that role.
On the subject of dates and timekeeping you can expect her to be at least 15 minutes late for everything you arrange to do together, and that's at the bare minimum.
When she does arrive she won't understand you being annoyed, so don't waste any energy on it. Instead just factor in that she'll be late for everything, possibly including your marriage and her own funeral. She's not careless or lazy, she's just investing every last second in looking her best for you.
Russian women expect to be pursued to a certain extent, so if you get the brush off don't take it to heart - she probably still likes you a whole lot more than she's letting on. You might hear that Russian women like to be stalked, but that's not something you want to test.
Being persistent is part of the Russian mating dance, so can drop the "sensitive male" routine for a change. You can just enjoy being a man instead.
Dress to Impress
If you've seen any pictures of the average Russian guy you'll have noticed that casual wear includes sweat pants, shoes and a jacket of some kind – or the equivalent of what a hobo might wear.
Basically, once a Russian guy convinces a girl to date him he'll then start dressing like a moron. So, dress to impress on every single date you set up with any Russian woman. There's no need to go with a 3-piece suit, but don't dress like a slob either. Raise the bar here, and she'll start admiring you in a way you're probably not accustomed to.
Be A Man
One really odd thing about dating women from this part of the world is they expect you to be assertive with them.
Now, to be clear, this doesn't mean being rude, controlling, or showing off how much of a sociopath you are. What it does mean is that these women do not like indecisive guys, or emotional doormats.
If you start down that path with them, then you're already toast - you won't hear from her again.
Most western guys will struggle with this idea, because you've been taught that being assertive with women is a bad thing, even when it's more than appropriate because they're behaving like a spoiled child. This is simply not the case with Russian women.
Oh, unexpected gifts are always welcome, but never, ever ask your Russian girlfriend what she wants as a gift. She expects you to know, and if you don't know, to find out.
Are There Any Risks?
There are risks associated with everything in life, from crossing the road, to getting out of bed in the morning. More people die inside their homes than outside of them. That’s not to say that starting your journey to find a mail order bride could be considered dangerous, but it’s also important that you not be naïve.
The Internet revolutionized the mail order bride and international dating scene, increasing the speed at which introductions could happen, and resulting relationships could blossom. Instead of months of letters and phone calls, contact can now be made instantly via Skype, instant messaging programs and email. This is a great for everyone involved because it saves a vast amount of time and money.
Unfortunately the anonymous nature of the Internet has allowed some mail order bride scams to prosper – “sweetheart scandals” aren’t unheard of. Using trusted websites and “romance tour” agencies can help dramatically reduce your exposure to any form of financial risk, but using your common sense is also part of this.
So, if a woman you’ve just started chatting to on a dating website starts giving you a sob story about needing money, you should report her profile straight away.
The most popular Russian mail order bride websites filter through every single membership application, rooting out fake profiles while also asking women for a signed commitment that they won't ask any of the male members for cash, for any reason.
Some of the dating sites even go as far as asking their female customers to record a video to prove that their profile picture isn't a fake, which also shows that you can trust their membership program.
Finding somebody worth sharing your life with isn't easy- some people are so desperate they'll marry the first person that comes along. But why settle for less than you’re worth, especially when you can meet, date and maybe marry a Russian woman who might just make your life complete?
Dating a mail order bride isn't a bad thing because the ultimate purpose of it is to find true love, and isn’t that what life is all about?