Thai Dating - Meet Your Soul-Mate in the Land of Smiles
Thailand is well known as something of a sexual playground. A place where foreign men can go and meet a much younger and more attractive woman than they might have been able to meet at home.
And there is real truth to the fact that in Thailand western men are considered desirable by the local females.
From the prestige that foreigners have to their reputation as all being rich, a western man is considered a good catch by most Thai woman.
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However, dating a Thai women presents some unique challenges you may not encounter while dating other foreign women. Thai culture is very, very different from American culture.
Thailand was one of the few countries that was never colonized by a Western power, so it lacks the layer of European cultural influence that many other parts of the world have.
Luckily, most Thai mail order brides tend to come from the wealthier cities rather than the poor countryside so they tend to be more familiar with Western culture through fashion, foreign tourists, and the mass media.
If you begin your search for a Thai girlfriend or wife online you should be aware that it may be a bit more complicated than if you had set your sites on some other parts of Asia.
Some Thai girls from respectable families are a little more hesitant about meeting men through online agencies, because they want to be sure that guys knows that they are not prostitutes.
Thailand has many ancient and colorful cultural traditions and its own set of spoken and unspoken rules about acceptable and unacceptable behavior during courtship.
Learning a little something about Thai dating rituals is the best way to avoid these cultural pitfalls while courting a Thai woman.
Here are some to get you started:
Dress to Impress
Thai women tend to put a large emphasis on appearance. Many men have the misconception that it doesn't matter how you dress because they will have seen sixty year olds walking down the street with a hot twenty year old their arm and he is dressed in sandals, a t-shirt and cargo shorts.
However, the girl is almost certainly a professional, and of course if you are willing to pay for company then how you dress is going to be irrelevant. But if you are looking to meet a nice girl for dating or marriage then you need to work on attracting here.
Take a leaf of the local's book and dress up. Dressing well is a major determinant of how well Thai women will regard you. If you are well dressed even if you are not a young guy anymore or out of shape, you can still be regarded as desirable solely on the basis of your clothes.
This is quite different to a western country where a young, muscular guy might be considered the most desirable in the room even if he was only wearing a t-shirt and jeans. This offers a significant advantage to the older western male visiting Thailand who is willing to put a little extra effort into his appearance.
You will do far better with the local women if you act the part of the wealthy and sophisticated western man.
Avoid Public Displays of Affection and Arguments
Unlike Western culture, Thai society generally disapproves of public displays of affection. Kissing, hugging, holding hands, or even touching a Thai woman's hair in public is frowned upon.
Therefore, play it safe and limit yourself to only the most simple and acceptable forms of social touching such as handshakes. Be sure not to sit too close to your Thai girlfriend, at least during the first few dates.
Younger modern Thai women may not mind holding the hand of their boyfriend or husband but will still not want to kiss in public. Again if you have seen contrary examples to this then chances are that the girl was a bar girl or a similar professional. If you are out on a date with a nice girl do not put her in awkward position by trying to be too affectionate in public.
Along these same lines, Thai women absolutely detest any sort of argument in a public place. I can't stress how sensitive this issue is, take it from me, my Thai girlfriend broke up with me after a minor public argument that would not have even raised an eyebrow if it happened in a Starbucks in the USA or Canada.
So, if you have a problem with something your Thai girlfriend did, PLEASE - wait until you get home to bring it up.
Thai Girls and Premarital Sex
Girls from Thailand generally don't believe in sex before marriage. Don't ask for premarital sex, and especially don't demand it. This can be frustrating, especially since Thai dating traditionally involves a nine month courtship before marriage and sex.
Ironically, it is this very prohibition against physical affection before marriage that has earned Thai ladies the reputation for being exotic, sensual, and erotic. Thai women tend to be both romantic and passionate but when attraction and affection can't be expressed physically; it forces them to find other, more creative ways of expressing it.
Consequently, many Thai babes are masters of the art of teasing and flirting.
The physical and sexual aspects of Thailand dating are further complicated by the fact that for decades, Thailand has been a hotspot for sex tourism. Bangkok is unofficially known as the "Sex Tourism Capitol of the World".
Consequently, if you are overly physically affectionate to a Thai girl, touch her inappropriately, or expect sex after the date, she will likely think that you are a sex tourist who has mistaken her for a prostitute. This is both insulting and disrespectful, and pretty much guaranteed to make a Thai woman lose all interest in you.
So, no matter how sexual frustrating Thailand dating may be in the early stages, stick to your guns, respect your Thai girlfriend's wishes, and you'll most likely find that the wait was well worth it!
When it comes to dating a Thai woman a lot of comes down to just good common sense. Take your time getting to know her and make sure that she is the right one for you. Do not be swayed just by her looks.
If you are going to marry her then one day those looks are going to fade. If she is not good company and a suitable intellectual match then eventually you are going to grow weary of the relationship.
Don't be in a hurry to commit, in Thailand there are always plenty more fish in the sea.
Don't Be Afraid to Be a Gentleman
Like many Asian cultures, courtesy and good manners are valued highly. Being discourteous, crass, or rude is not just considered impolite, but disrespectful-and that's a turn-off for any woman, regardless of nationality. On your first few dates, do your best not be to a boorish Western tourist.
Treat all your prospective Thai dates like ladies. Be polite and attentive in conversation. Don't interrupt when they're speaking. A thoughtful gift, even a small one, is sure to impress. Open doors for them, offer them your arm, or offer to carry their handbag. Although Western women sometimes find such gestures to be insulting, condescending, or chauvinistic, in Thai society they are still considered polite and respectful.
Don't Rush It
Another trap that many western men fall for is to rush the relationship. Some Thai women are eager for the financial security that having a western husband will bring and will try and move the relationship quickly forward.
Do not allow your Thai girlfriend to move in with you unless you are certain that you want to marry her. And you should not do this unless you have spent considerable time with her and you are sure that she is the one.
If you do allow her to live with you and you find out later that she is not the woman that you thought she was it can be difficult to get her to leave. She may demand some sort of payment in order for her to go.
If you are living in Thailand you should not expect a lot of help from the authorities if you ask her to go and she doesn't agree. These sorts of scenarios occur most often when men ignore the advice above and have a relationship with a bar girl. But you should still be careful no matter what the scenario before allowing her to live with you.
Meet the Family
If you are considering marrying your Thai girlfriend make sure that you meet her in-laws first. It is well known that when you take a Thai bride you are marrying her family as well. Thais are very family orientated and will want to spend a considerable amount of time with their loved ones. You want to make sure that you are also comfortable spending time in their company.
Your marriage should be with the intention of staying together for life so you want to ask yourself if you are ok with the idea of spending Christmas and other holidays with her family. If you get along well with her family you will find that the relationship is much easier.
Do Thai Girls Just Want Me For My Money? - An Honest Assessment
While not every Thai girl that you meet is going to be after you for your money it is worthwhile recognizing that your new attractive qualities are in large part because of your wallet. In the same way that most western women would be suitably impressed if the man that tries to pick them up turns out to be a millionaire, so too is true of Thailand.
Because of the relative wealth difference a western man earning a salary of $2,500 - $3,500 is actually quite rich and maybe considerably wealthier than anyone the woman personally knows.
It is not worth feeling too bad about the fact she may only like you for your money, after all most western billionaires don't feel badly that the young super model that they are sleeping with probably would not be dating them if they were poor.
You should also recognize that money is going to play more of a role the less you fit the standard definition of attractive.
If you are young, fit and handsome money may not be quite the same issue as if you are over fifty, pot bellied and bald. The great thing is though that you will still be able to meet the same quality of women thanks to the equalizer which is money.
This is far different from home where you would be out of luck.
Beware the Infamous Thai Bargirl!
If you are looking for a wife then you need to think carefully about where you meet her. One of the main ways that male visitors to Thailand interact with the local female population is by meeting them in bars.
Bar girls, whose job it is to entertain visitors to their establishment, may be fun to spend time with but they are not ideal as wives.
As they saying goes: You can take the girl out of the bar, but you can't take the bar out of the girl.
Just as in a western country you wouldn't expect to hire a prostitute for the night and then marry her. The same is true of Thailand. Because of how flattering it can be to the ego to have a very attractive women half your age flirting with you it can be easy to lose your common sense.
Instead you want to look for genuine women who have a professional job such as a teacher or an office worker. You will still be able to meet very attractive and considerably younger women but you want to stay away from the professionals when it comes to a serious romance.
If you travel to Bangkok, Pattaya or Phuket it may seem like half the Thai female population are employed as bargirls, but remember it is only a small percentage of Thai women who are involved in the sex industry. There are many more "nice girls" that will make much more suitable long term partners that you can meet, even in these Meccas of the international sex trade.
Thai Culture - Treat Your Thai Girlfriend with Respect
The most reliable path to success in Thailand dating is to learn as much about Thai culture as possible. Spend some time researching as much as you can about both traditional AND modern Thai society, traditions, and values. Here are a couple points to get you started:
- Over 80% of Thai women are Buddhist, and have little desire to convert. Thailand is a constitutional monarchy, so the women are at least familiar with democracy, just not the American style. Even British men might have a difficult time grasping the nature of Thai government.
- During World War II and continuing through the 1960s and 70s, many American servicemen were stationed there, leading to a long tradition of cultural exchange, intermarriage, and mixed families. In fact, Tiger Woods is the most famous child of the thousands of Thai ladies who married American servicemen beginning in the 1960s.
- English is required in the schools, so most educated Thai brides will speak and understand some English, although they are generally not fluent in it.
- The modern "mail order bride" business has been long established in Thailand, going back to the 1970s. Consequently, there may be less cultural resistance to foreign dating from a Thai woman than from women in some other countries.
Finally, the fact that you are familiar with their culture and heritage will go a long way toward impressing potential Thailand brides.