Everything You Need to Know to Find a Vietnamese Bride
What we want to share with you today is what we consider to be one of the gems of the Asian dating scene - Vietnam.
The vast majority of single, Western men have a tendency to head straight to Thailand or the Philippines to find their future wife or girlfriend, without giving Vietnamese singles a second thought. That is a real mistake.
Vietnam has just as much, if not more, to offer a single Western guy, and it's only when you see how unique these women are that you also quickly realize that a Vietnamese girlfriend (ideally becoming your Vietnamese wife) is a match you won't regret in a hurry.
Allow us to explain:
Nobody can argue with the fact that Asian women possess a type of beauty you can't find anywhere else in the world. From their flawless skin, flowing dark hair, and inviting smiles, to their petite, slim figures, they are, quite literally, the perfect woman. What's worse is that they look this good without even trying!
Vietnamese women take this to the next level because there's just such an abundance of beautiful women in this country. Unlike some other Asian countries, where beauty can be a hit-and-miss affair, you'll find that Vietnamese women are just naturally beautiful all the time.
Beauty is obviously in the eye of the beholder, but in Vietnam your eyes will be spoiled for choice.
Vietnam also has one of the best education systems in Asia, so you'll find lots of women who aren't just stunning to look at, but who are very smart too.
It doesn’t matter who you are, where you come from, or what you own, if a Vietnamese girl already has a boyfriend you are wasting your time, buddy. She can't be bought, or tricked or traded with so don't bother trying.
The fact is that most Vietnamese girls are looking for long-term partners, so they don't want to waste time on short romances with guys who are going to vanish a few weeks later. The major benefit here is that once you have a Vietnamese girlfriend you won't have to worry about her cheating on you - even if you're in another country.
As with most Asian brides, family is extremely important to girls from Vietnam, and they also make great moms. Their whole life revolves around family because these are values they grew up with.
So as much as she values you as her boyfriend or husband, she will be fiercely protective of your children, but your parents can even benefit here too.
Once a Vietnamese girl is part of your family your parents are her parents, and she'll do everything she can to care for them. These are the types of values you don't see very often in Western women - they're usually more interested in moving your parents into a retirement home as soon as they possibly can.
Closer Than You Might Think
One of the nice things about pursuing a Vietnamese mail order bride is that Vietnam is an easy country to travel to with a variety of international carriers serving both Hanoi and Saigon, or Ho-Chi-Minh City as it is known today.
Also, though the Vietnamese have fought an almost endless series of wars against the Chinese, Japanese, French, and Americans, they tend to really love foreign tourists.
In the southern part of the country there is a pretty good chance most girls have relatives in the United States and there tends to be a romanticized view of the United States.
Dating a Vietnamese Woman
Before we go any further it's really important for you to understand that Vietnamese women are very traditional, both in their cultural and personal beliefs.
This means that "Pick up Artists", and guys looking to love and leave Vietnamese singles, are going to have a tough time of it - they just don't believe in having 3 or 4 different boyfriends on the go at any one time.
Go to any of the Vietnamese dating websites, and you'll quickly see that a long courtship is neither expected nor wanted. Many women will go to great pains to communicate that they aren't into "games" or "playing around".
If you are interested in Vietnamese women for marriage, it's probably going to be quite easy to find a woman who is interested in you, but just remember that they rarely date without the long term goal of marrying whoever they are dating.
Some guys find this off-putting, but that's only because they’re players and want to do their thing and then fly home. For a single guy really looking for a Vietnamese wife, or girlfriend, it means that when you get one-on-one time with a Viet girl it really does count for something.
Here are some other things to keep in mind if you want to date or marry women from Vietnam:
Demonstrate Your Love
Vietnamese women aren't even the tiniest bit materialistic, but they do love to receive small, thoughtful gifts on a regular basis. This is less about them having "stuff", and more about you showing that you still think about them.
This goes against the dating advice you'll get almost anywhere else on this subject, but if you want to make a really good first impression on your Vietnamese girlfriend then make sure small gifts become a regular feature of your relationship.
Women from Vietnam are always busy doing something - from education, to shopping, to caring for their family, and everything else in between. They grew up helping to perform most duties around the house, and to help raising the children.
This means that a Vietnamese wife will expect to be kept busy, and if not she might become frustrated.
Just let her know that she doesn’t need to do everything on her own, although this can be a problem because Vietnamese women don't want their men to be seen doing "women's" work.
There are clearly defined lines between men and women, and what is expected from each of them. Vietnamese women think of their husbands as their ultimate priority and will see you as #1 in their life. These women have a strong sense of family as well as an upbringing in traditional values.
A Vietnamese woman's focus is primarily on taking care of the family and her husband.
Some expats talk about the "lazy Vietnamese husband" syndrome which is basically the idea that Vietnamese husbands are lazy because their wives always take care of them.
Vietnam ladies are renowned for taking care of everything to do with the household. As the man, you will be quite pampered by your wife as long as you bring home the bacon.
This balance means you have a clearly defined role - and you're simply not expected to do the woman's work as well.
In the west both men and women work and both maintain the household. However this is rarely the case in Asian societies except in major metropolises. Even then, the man is generally the primary breadwinner and the woman takes care of the majority of the housework.
You can expect a Vietnamese woman to cook and clean for you. She will take care of everything at the house regardless of what you are doing.
In their culture this is just what a good woman does, and it's totally unacceptable that a man would have to do this. They would basically wonder what kind of wife he has that he is forced to do his wife's work.
You are very unlikely to have many conflicts with a Vietnamese wife, the culture of submission and kindness amongst the women means very few shouting matches.
Vietnamese men have a reputation for being lazy, which isn't entirely their fault because their mothers, wives and sisters are busy running around doing all their chores for them. If you don’t take TOO much advantage of this gift your lady will treat you even more like a prince, because you will be seen as so much more industrious and hardworking than the men she knew growing up in Vietnam.
This also includes the area of romance, something which Vietnamese guys are great at, until they get married - then it all stops. So every single Viet girl you meet craves real romance - the kind of romance that Western guys are more than capable of providing for their Vietnamese brides.
Western men are used to behaving romantically for the duration of their relationship - this is a total novelty for Vietnamese girls, so make the most of your romantic skills, guys!
Although it's only anecdotal, many men who have traveled or lived in Vietnam report that many Vietnamese women, once exposed to foreign men, prefer them. The reason many state is because of these western romantic tendencies.
Oftentimes, these women say, a Vietnamese man spends his whole store of romantic love in the courtship stage; once married, all romance ends.
Take It Slow
You'd imagine that women who are as naturally beautiful as Vietnamese girls would want to share their good looks with the entire world, but that's not the case. In fact you'll find most Vietnamese girls are reluctant to share their picture with you, but that's only because they're shy by nature.
Pushing them too hard to show you their pictures, or video chat with you, can ruin a potential relationship.
Know when to back down and back off on these things.
If you meet a girl online, the best way to build her trust is by not pushing too hard and being consistent.
Best Vietnamese Dating Sites
There are several good sites for Vietnamese mail order brides. Cherry Blossoms and VietnamCupid have a lot of beautiful girls from Hanoi and Ho Chi Minh City, old Saigon, but recently AsianDate has really moved into that space in a big way.
The great thing about AsianDate is that they are part of the Anastasia family of sites and they have an incredible suite of communications tools. If you want to read about those tools and on our chat page how you can be chatting with a Vietnamese model in three minutes just check out our chat page.
Your First Date with a Vietnamese Girl
Every culture is different, especially in Asia, so it's a good idea to have a quick list of "Do’s" and "Don’ts" for your first date with the girl of your dreams. Following our tips here can save you making a lot of embarrassing mistakes.
DO let her suggest the best place to eat locally, and let her choose something for you to eat. You are helping create a social "contract" with her - it shows you trust her and you're willing to go along with her ideas. This is the exact opposite of what you're accustomed to, but just roll with it.
DO learn at least a handful of Vietnamese phrases before meeting her. Vietnamese is a difficult language to master, but you should give it your best shot from the very start. Even better ask your date to teach you her native language - if nothing else it will give her the opportunity to giggle at your attempts to speak Vietnamese.
DO pay for the meal, and then ask if she'd like to go for coffee, or to a movie, afterwards. You are expected to pay for the meal on your first date, but not every other date afterwards. Extending the duration of your date with coffee or a movie also shows her that you're really interested in spending time with her - language doesn't always need to be a barrier here.
DO NOT try to get her into bed on the first date, and this includes trying any cheap moves to get her to come back to your hotel with you
If she is coming from a harder background then you need to be aware of the implications of that situation too. Taking advantage of the situation can lead to an array of problems for you, so be aware of what your date is expecting.
DO behave like a gentleman, and show her that you care about her, without using words. Simple things like holding a door open, or pulling her chair out at the restaurant, show her that you also appreciate traditional values.
Marrying a Vietnamese Woman
If you're lucky enough to be marrying a Vietnamese girl then you've been smart enough to follow all the advice we've given you so far. Marriage is something which is highly valued, even among well-educated Vietnamese women – they place a lot of value on starting a family with a man they can trust.
Just remember that Vietnamese people are traditionalists, so her entire family will want to attend the wedding. They're also traditionalists in how they value their men - in a way that's rarely seen in Western marriages. That will probably work to your advantage if you treat your Vietnamese bride right.
It's also worth remembering that Vietnamese women like to work, and have done so their entire lives. So even though she won't necessarily want a high-powered career, she will still expect to contribute to the household finances.
If you already own a business a Vietnamese wife is your perfect business partner - they work hard, and expect the same from others.
There's a myth that Vietnamese women only ever marry for money, but the truth is that these girls like to be financially independent, so they won't care how much you earn. They will expect you to work, so if you want a Viet girl to live on Worker's Comp checks, then you're probably barking up the wrong tree.
Even if you've arranged to marry a Vietnamese mail order bride, there will still come a time when you have to visit Vietnam. The same applies if you're going on a romance tour to meet Vietnamese girls, so we wanted to give you some quick tips on the best places to visit, as well as some cultural and historic background. The more you know about Vietnam before you get there, the more you'll enjoy your visit.
North Vs South
Obviously the Vietnam War has left scars behind, but Vietnamese people have always been more about looking to the future than lingering in their past. With that being said you're going to have an easier time finding a girl to date in the south rather than the north. There are exceptions to every rule though.
Ho Chi Minh City
This city was formerly known as Saigon, and despite it being a battleground during the Vietnam War, it's now a city filled with modern shopping opportunities and vibrant nightlife.
Ho Chi Minh City is the largest city in Vietnam, and a great place to start your Vietnamese dating adventure. In fact, you haven't had a good time until you've experienced Ho Chi Minh City at night.
There's mile after mile of beaches to enjoy here, as well as some of the most stunning scenery in Vietnam.
Nha Trang is Vietnam's most famous seaside resort and is something of a tourist trap, so while there are lots of opportunities to mingle with local girls, you do also need to keep your head on a swivel for the gold diggers, and "one night" ladies.
If you want to get in some Scuba diving while searching for your future wife then Nha Trang is a great destination.
If you want to immerse yourself in the true heart of Vietnam then you'll need to visit Hoi An - this city is over 2,000 years old, so it predates Christianity in many cases.
Hoi An is also very popular with tourists, but the street food is some of the very best you've tasted anywhere in the world. The nightlife here also makes it well worth a visit.
Because of this cities recent popularity with tourists numerous activities in and around this thriving port city. From kayaking to bicycle tours, if you decide to bring your Vietnamese girlfriend here for a weekend getaway, you will have no problem coming up with fun date ideas to make your time together memorable.
No trip to Vietnam would be complete without spending at least a little time in the capital, Hanoi.
The streets are never really empty here, and this means there's always somewhere for you to go, and something for you to enjoy.
Just bear in mind that Hanoi, like any capital, can be very "in your face" at times, but the high population density also improves your dating opportunities when it comes to meeting single Vietnamese girls.