You’ve heard there are beautiful women in Thailand, but you’re reluctant to plan a trip there because you’ve heard it’s full of sex tourists?
My dude, nothing could be further from the truth. That’s just the mainstream media filling your head with politically correct nonsense.
Thailand is completely different to what you expect, but in really positive ways. It’s only when you live here for a while that you really understand that.
The aim of this blog post is to dispel most of the “information” you get from Leftist, hipster media sources that paint Thailand as some kind of rural backwater where the white man comes to drag Thai women from their huts, club them over the head and have their way with them.
You’re about to find out the truth about what meeting and dating Thai women is really like.
What Are Thai Girls Like
That all depends on what you mean by “Thai girls”. I’m not trying to be clever or contrarian here, but there are two distinctly different types of Thai women.
The first are “bar girls”, who are the stereotypes sold to you by the media i.e. that all the really good looking Thai women are hookers in all but name. They can and will go home with any farang (foreign guy) who has enough money – looks or how you treat them isn’t a factor.
Then you have the mainstream Thai girls. The ones with jobs, pride in their appearance, morals and who are interested in meeting foreign guys, but it has nothing to do with the size of their bank balance.
Legit Thai girls can be nurses, lawyers, engineers, or female entrepreneurs. Lots of them work in retail because it’s an honest job, and is as far away from the bar girl scene as possible. These mainstream girls are just as pretty, petite and alluring as you could want – they just happen to work for a living.
Something I really need to get across here is that you need to ditch any of the mental stereotypes you have about Thai women being docile, submissive flowers who’ll jump when you tell them to. There are tons of dating websites that claim all the girls here are like that, but you can take it from me that they absolutely are not.
They’re not slaves or sexual doormats, so if that’s what you expect to find here I’m happy to tell you that you’re in for a rude awakening.
Thai Girl Personality Traits
Now that you understand that there are different “classes” of Thai women, let’s take a look at what their psychological makeup is like.
You’ll often hear Thailand referred to as the “Land of Smiles”, and I thought that was just tourism propaganda until I got here. The fact is that most Thai people are very welcoming to foreigners, even if they don’t really know you.
They just don’t believe in being rude. So the smiles will always look genuine, because they usually are. There’s something very odd about this at first – you’d expect people with a “lower” standard of living to be unhappy. But Thais find joy in the simple things in life in a way that Westerners have forgotten about.
There’s a lesson in materialism there somewhere, but I’ll save that for another time.
Thai women have a positive outlook on life, and prefer that in a boyfriend – even if you’re only hanging around for a few weeks. Miserable, introspective types don’t do well on the dating scene here, so you’ve been warned!
Thai girls are naturally shy, and their culture encourages this, despite what certain websites will tell you. This is possibly where the myth about them being docile and subservient comes from. The reality is that they won’t open up to you until they get to know you, and that includes in the bedroom.
Oh, you thought all Thai women were nymphos who can’t wait to strip your clothes off and introduce you to the sexual wonders of the Orient?
Yeah, that’s a total myth. The truth is that most of the mainstream Thai girls have either had very few sexual partners (like less than 3), or they’re virgins. That doesn’t mean they’re prudes, but they’re not bar girls either, so they’re actually waiting for the right guy to come along in many cases.
Basically they’re cool, calm and collected unless you do something to insult them or their family. Then you’ll see fire and brimstone falling from the sky, but only for a few hours until she cools down.
What Thai Girls Look Like
When I first arrived in Thailand I expected the women to look like the tourism posters, and what I saw on dating sites. Talk about a naive tourist – I’m sitting here shaking my head right now just thinking about how deluded I was.
So, does that mean all Thai girls don’t look like the stereotypical image of a slim, pretty, girl with long dark hair doing a wai (the greeting with both palms pressed together)?
Nope, but there are a few different categories of looks here. The first are the truly native Thais – they have very lightly tanned skin, almond-shaped faces, large expressive eyes, long dark hair, etc. These are the women you’ll see on the front page of any Thai dating site.
Then you have Chinese Thais, who look almost more Chinese than Thai, if that makes sense? Their features are far more Chinese than Central Asian. It’s still a bit of a surprise when you meet them for the first time because they go against the stereotypes you have in your head.
And finally you have Thai women who look almost Indian or Persian in appearance, but they’re still stunning. This is because they originate from Northern Thailand, so you’ll see genetic influences from elsewhere in Asia, most of this coming from the Mongol empire which once dominated most of Asia.
So, their facial features can vary quite a bit, but the natural beauty is still there. What almost all Thai women have in common is that they’re petite and slender. Fat chicks do exist here, but I’ve seen very few of them in my travels.
In terms of body types, Thai women are physically very different to South American, North American and most European women. So, if you like big butts and big boobs then you’re in the wrong place.
There are exceptions to every rule, but Thai women typically have small derrieres and are in the “handful” department when it comes to bust size.
Pros & Cons of Dating Thai Women
Is it all sunshine and lollipops with a Thai girlfriend?
Of course not – they’re women from another country, not another species. Although when you compare them to Western women they definitely can feel like a different species, but in the best possible ways.
Anyway, it’s time to look at the pros and cons of dating a Thai woman:
Classic Thai Beauty
We’ll start with the obvious stuff – Thai women are beautiful, and it’s not about using lots of expensive cosmetics or wearing designer clothing. They have a natural beauty that just shines through every pore of their skin.
I honestly believe that part of what makes these women so attractive is their positive mental attitude. It’s like it’s part of their overall personality and it puts a spell on guys – you can’t help but fall for them.
They Age Slowly
Thai women also age way more slowly than Western women. Why? I’m not sure. It’s probably a mixture of diet, healthy living and good genetics, but it can be really difficult at times to tell their age.
A Thai woman in her 30s can easily pass for 21, and even women over 40 can look like they’re 25. Oh and if you think she looks too young, always ask her for ID. No guy wants to make *that* mistake.
They Don’t Want To Own You
Thai women don’t want to manipulate your life in the way North American or European women do. What I mean by this is that your Thai girlfriend will not expect you to spend every waking minute with her. This doesn’t mean she’s okay with you disappearing for days, but if you spend a few hours with your buddies she’s not going to freak out.
Family Is Important
They celebrate family and children. I know this might sound like a weird pro to include, but Western society has stopped celebrating the nuclear family, and birth rates are in a downward spiral as a result. Thai women don’t understand this because family means everything to them, and they will want to have kids.
They Act Like Women
Femininity rules the roost here. I love the fact that Thai women look and act like women. I know that makes me sound like some kind of misogynistic fossil, but I prefer women to look effeminate. I’m sure some guys like the butch look, but I’m not one of them. And it’s not just about appearance – Thai girls move like women.
I think this is because they’re comfortable in their own skins – literally – so they’re not trying to be anything other than their true biological self.
Fun To Be Around
The right types of Thai girls (those with jobs) are lots of fun and they love experiencing new things, including food or just visiting new places. Sure, they love spending time at home hanging out, but they’re not couch potatoes.
They can be a tiny bit materialistic, and that’s not just the bar girls. Thai girls want to have a better life than their parents. Some of them work hard to achieve this, while others kinda expect their Farang boyfriend to provide it.
From personal experience the Thai girls who want to be taken care of make their presence felt pretty soon in the dating game. There’s nothing wrong with her expecting occasional gifts and treats, but if she turns into a diva because you’re not giving her stuff all the time then you need to get rid of her as soon as possible.
Dating Her Family
Dating a Thai girl means dating her entire family, and that includes grandparents, etc. Thai families are extremely close-knit, taking care of each other from birth to old age. It’s a shock to the system for most Western guys (it was for me), but that’s probably because we’ve grown accustomed to putting our parents in old folks homes and hoping they’re well cared for.
Some Are Scammers
Not all Thai women are crooks, but there are plenty of gold-diggers here. Don’t be in a rush to settle into any relationship until you get to know her a bit better. Watch out for warning signs like sob stories about her family, sick relatives, etc. To quote Robert DeNiro, “Whenever there is any doubt, there is no doubt”. Listen to your gut instinct.
You’re from completely and totally difference cultures, so you’re going to argue. Thai women heat up fast, but cool down just as quickly, but if you’re not the confrontational type then you might struggle a bit here.
Why Thai Women Prefer Foreign Men
Oh man, there’s so much to cover here – where do I even begin?
I suppose the first thing to talk about is how farangs compare to local guys. Polygamy was legal in Thailand for a long, long time. But even though it’s illegal now a lot of Thai guys will take a second wife (gik which means “small wife”).
Thai guys who aren’t married still act like they’re single, so although they cheat all the time, they don’t actually see it as being “wrong”. I don’t want to stereotype these dudes – because Christ knows we have enough feminists doing that to men already – but there’s an ongoing infidelity epidemic here.
It’s so bad that Thai women are willing to put up with it because it’s become almost “normal” to them.
There’s a social strata issue here too, kind of like the caste system in India. What I mean is that local guys will only date and marry at their own social level or above it.
So bar girls haven’t any more than a passing hope of dating a rich Thai guy. That’s also the reason why some bar girls focus on landing a long-term farang boyfriend – foreign guys don’t look down their noses at them.
Thai men also basically have almost zero time for single mothers and divorcees, so that leaves more opportunities for you.
Farangs, on the other hand, represent everything Thai women want in their lives. They know that Western guys don’t hit their women, that cheating is frowned upon, that you most likely have a job, and you won’t ignore them because they grew up in a rural area, for example.
Basically all the opportunities you take for granted are the undiscovered country for her. Yes, that was a Star Trek reference, but only because I couldn’t come up with a Star Wars one instead.
Sometimes a Thai woman’s reason for dating a foreign guy is they just want to try something different. You know the way Thai women are just the most exotic thing you’ve ever seen, well they kinda feel the same way about foreign guys. You’re generally going to be taller, broader, wealthier, and more ambitious than any guy she can find locally.
Where Should You Go To Meet Thai Women
Well the truth is that you can meet Thai women anywhere in Thailand, but what I’ll explain here is what cities you should and shouldn’t visit on your dating adventures.
My focus is on helping you meet Thai women who aren’t bar girls, although there are reasons to hook up with them too at times.
So the women you want to meet will depend on what you want from your overall experience in the country i.e. lots of fun vs. something a bit more meaningful.
The best way to describe the capital of Thailand is that it’s an enjoyable hellhole, or at least that’s been my experience. Most farangs hang out in Sukhumvit, but that’s strictly bar girls and hooker territory, so broaden your horizons if you don’t want to wind up paying for sex every night.
Bangkok is a lot of fun, but I’d recommend blowing off some steam here and then moving on. Oh and the road traffic here is insane – organized chaos is the best way to describe it.
I love Chiang Mai for a lot of reasons. The first is that it’s a major hub for digital nomads like me. The second is that it’s more chilled than Bangkok, but the downside is there aren’t as many girls here as in the bigger, touristy cities.
The women you do find here are also different to those in Bangkok because they usually won’t speak very much English, and they’re very shy around foreign guys. Well they are at first, but once you break the ice they want to know everything they can about you.
If you are interested in visiting this incredible city be sure to check out our Chiang Mai Travel Guide for Single Men.
This is the sex tourism capital of Thailand, not that you needed me to tell you that. Pattaya is the kind of place you visit once for a few weeks, but that’s usually enough to last you a year. It’s like visiting family – it’s fine at first, but you eventually just need to get the hell out of there.
It’s as seedy as everyone says it is, but the seediness has its own level of fun attached to it. You just need to treat Pattaya for what it is i.e. not the type of place you’re going to find a long-term girlfriend.
The Dating Scene in Thailand
We need to talk some numbers first.
There are 2 million more women than men in Thailand. Of that 2 million women there are hundreds of thousands of 20 – 30 year old single women. So, the odds are stacked in your favor before you arrive.
Most “dating gurus” will tell you to hit the nightclubs and bars in your city of choice to pick up your dream girl. But I’m not a guru, so I’ll just tell you what works.
Daytime approaches work, and more specifically daytime approaches in markets, shopping malls, shops and anywhere that pretty young Thai women are actually working for a living. These are the women who are financially independent, so you’re not just a human-shaped ATM in their eyes.
You can still do the nighttime dating thing, but you’ll find that talking to girls during the day is just more informal and chilled. They’re also more relaxed because you’re just another customer, and not a farang trying to charm their pants off.
The daytime approach is also important because it allows you to pick up on small details like an Adam’s apple…and other hints that it’s a ladyboy.
Plus most nightclubs have gangs of pros looking for impressionable foreign guys. They play a good game of being coy, but if they’re ready to walk out the front door with you from the first smile then you’re going to be handing over a fistful of Baht later that night, either to get rid of her or just to pay her for services rendered.
If in doubt ask – the working girls won’t get offended. Or at least they haven’t in my experience.
Organizing a few dates before you arrive is always a good idea, and Thai Cupid is the best of a large bunch of pretty disappointing Thai dating sites. They’re not all bad, but I got sick and tired of being hit up for cash by some Thai chick with a prefabbed sob story.
** Special Considerations **
There’s nothing wrong with dating and hooking up with bargirls, once you know what you’re getting yourself into. Most of them are just girls who lack education but need to bring money home to their family.
Sure, some of them are members of criminal gangs, but they’re in the minority. The rest are just trying to earn a living in the oldest profession known to man.
Can they ever work as girlfriends?
The truth is that 90% of the horror stories you hear about dishonest, cheating Thai girlfriends are from guys who dated a bargirl or hooker. This is a real “white knight” scenario because these guys thought they could change women who’ve been having sex for money since they were old enough to do that.
If you only intend dating a bargirl for a few weeks (while you’re in Thailand) then yes some of them can transition to the role of girlfriend. But they still expect to be treated like a bargirl i.e. given lots of cash and then allowed to do or say whatever they want.
As a rule, bargirls don’t make good long-term girlfriends. There are exceptions to every rule, but this is one of those situations in life where a leopard finds it really difficult to change their spots.
These “women” are on every single Thai dating site, and you’re going to run into them in bars and nightclubs no matter where you go.
You think that because you’re a red-blooded Western male that you can spot a ladyboy a mile away? Hate to burst your bubble bud, but you definitely can’t. Many a staunchly hetero guy has been caught out by that dude who looks like a lady. Yeah, it’s an Aerosmith reference but I’m of an age where I still think Aerosmith are cool.
Truth be told, most of the ladyboys here are more physically attractive than the vast majority of “woke” Western women, which tells you just how bad things are in North America and Europe. Yet another reason why the MGTOW and MRA movements are gaining more momentum every day.
Maybe it’s because the ladyboys go to extremes with their attempt at being feminine, but you need to have your head on a swivel to spot these “women”, especially if you’ve had a few beers.
Did I ever fall into the ladyboy trap?
Nope, but I never get stupidly drunk in strange bars or clubs. Situational awareness is something I take seriously, which also means I’ve been able to avoid any potentially unpleasant memories.
But hey, if you’re into ladyboys then you’re in the right country.
Summing it Up
The vast majority of what you read about Thai women is wildly inaccurate. If you were to believe 50% of it you’d see the country as nothing more than a huge brothel.
It’s not. It’s an incredibly beautiful country filled with some of the kindest and most welcoming people on the planet, and amazing scenery and historical sites.
I had to experience Thailand for myself to understand just how amazing dating mainstream Thai girls can be.
San Francisco native and former T.V. producer. Toby has traveled to over 50 countries. He’s now happily married to a beautiful Thai woman.