It’s all too easy to forget that although Asian countries are modernizing at a rapid pace, they’re still culturally very different to North America or Europe.
Assuming otherwise can cause problems when you actually meet and date Asian women, and particularly Korean women.
The advice we share here is to help you better understand these women, and in turn, better understand their culture. You’ll be surprised at how alike we all are in some ways, and how utterly different in others.
Our mission is simple: To help you be as successful as possible on your Korean dating adventure…. So, let’s get to it.
1. Korean Fever Is BS
Something we need to touch on before we get into other areas of Korean culture is the idea of “Korean Fever”.
We hear this term mentioned by feminists who think that Western guys are flocking to Korean to take advantage of peasant girls.
This is completely disingenuous towards Korean women, especially considering how hard they work. That somehow finding them attractive is “wrong” in some way.
Some even go as far as to say that dating Korean girls is fetishistic.
But we’re pretty sure that true love isn’t about race, skin color, or geographic location. It’s about finding the perfect woman for you, no? And if she just happens to be Korean, why would anyone find fault with that?
Except, of course, if they’re jealous or insecure of their own place in the world, which is often the case.
2. Learning Korean Is Key
Most international dating guides will mention something about “learning the local language“, but usually not expand on why you should do that.
Learning at least some Korean can be the difference between success and failure on the dating scene.
At the very least, it gives you a huge advantage over guys who think they can struggle through by learning a handful of phrases.
But why is learning Korean so important?
Because she doesn’t expect you to have tried.
Because most Western guys don’t bother until they’re actually in a long-term relationship with a Korean girl.
The same applies to learning about her culture. It’s very important to her, but again most guys don’t bother learning even the basics.
Basically, investing the time in learning conversational Korean is worth its weight in gold.
3. She’ll Assume You’re A Pickup Artist
Most Korean girls know they’re viewed as being easy by certain types of Western men. Once she understands you’re different to the average tourist, then she’ll commit to you and the barriers will come down.
But you’ll need to be open with her to reach that point. That includes giving her access to your phone, and let her look at your social media accounts while you’re logged in.
Yes, she might actually ask for your username and password, and refusing to do that could make it look like you have something to hide.
Do whatever it takes to prove to her that she’s not just your Korean side girl, and that she can trust you.
It’s monogamy or nothing here, and there are no exceptions. Nor are there second chances
4. Be Patient
Women here are paranoid about being viewed as easy to get into bed. They know that certain Asian countries have developed a reputation for sex tourism, something 99% of Korean women find abhorrent.
So, when you first meet a Korean girl, she will shy away from you. If you walk up to a random girl in a coffee shop and try to break the ice, she’ll probably recoil in fear at first. Part of this is because they’d rather be rude than have you think they’re easy.
And this is very much a cultural norm here – mainstream Korean girls will do anything not to bring shame to their families.
5. Going Dutch?
Women will, generally speaking, expect you to pay for the first date, and probably every date after that. Splitting the bill isn’t common practice here, but that is changing with more recent generations of single Korean women.
The man paying for the date (dinner, drink, desserts, etc) is a social norm here. It’s just how things have been done for decades, and very few people see any reason for that to change.
If she offers to split the bill then she’s part of the new wave of Korean women, so accept the gesture.
But apart from that, you can expect the foot the bill for all your social outings.
6. Korean Girls Love Gifts
Women here expect their partners to buy them gifts.
It’s not considered even remotely materialistic for a woman to expect romantic gifts from her boyfriend on a regular basis. But we do explain why shortly – don’t worry.
This issue is compounded (and probably caused) by the fact that Korea has the equivalent of a Valentine’s Day on the 14th of each month.
Yes, it’s basically Valentine’s Day once every single month of the year. Every year. You’ll need to adjust both your mindset and your financial planning to accommodate this.
Korean women will gladly accept grand gestures on the 14th of each month, but the majority are quite happy to know that you care enough to observe a Korean tradition e.g. “Diary Day” or “White Day”.
7. They Prefer Educated Men
Korean women are usually well educated and expect the same of their partners.
Remember that Korea has risen from the hardship of being a warzone, to become an industrial power in a few short decades.
That only happened because Koreans pushed themselves to compete on the world stage, and education played a significant role in the country’s economic development.
You don’t need to have a PhD or have a career in academia to be acceptable as a boyfriend. But the other side of that coin is that being a high-school dropout isn’t admired here.
8. Korean Girls Are Not Politically Correct
Korean women are polite when expressing themselves in public, almost implacably so. But they will speak their mind in the most frank manner imaginable when in private.
So, if you’ve spent the last decade trying to moderate your speech to keep certain types of women happy, then you can stop.
She doesn’t expect you to be a social justice hero – she expects you to speak your mind, even if she disagrees with you.
There’s no need to be afraid to hold a door open for her, pull out her chair, or lift something for her that looks too heavy for her to manage.
Or in other words, there’s no toxic masculinity BS in South Korea. That’s probably because it’s a myth everywhere else too.
9. Be as Handsome On The Inside
Single Korean women put a lot of effort into looking good. And we mean really good, especially when it’s for a date.
In turn, they expect you to put your best foot forward too i.e. dress for the occasion.
But, as much as they care about looks, no Korean girl will date a guy who looks like Brad Pitt, but behaves like a spoiled, entitled brat
In fact, your behavior and attitudes towards life can be a real deal breaker here.
Korean women dig guys with good looks, but none of that is as valuable as a guy with good manners and who respects his Korean girl, her traditions, and her family.
10. Taller Guys Win
The average woman here is roughly 5-feet 2-inches tall, which is fairly typical of Asian women. What’s also typical of Asian women is they have a preference for men who are tall and broad.
This doesn’t mean you need to be a giant, but Korean girls do tend to gravitate towards taller, masculine Western men, if given a choice.
Most women want their boyfriend or husband to be physically bigger than them – it’s a natural instinct. So Korean women are no different in that regard.
11. Be Financially Fluid
This will make Korean girl sound materialistic, but they’re not. Not even remotely.
But the fact remains, they generally don’t like “struggling artists”, unless the Korean woman you’re interested in exists in the same social strata.
If she’s poor, she won’t really care about you being impoverished. But if she’s worked hard to become financially independent, she’ll expect you to have the same approach to life.
Even having some career goals, or ambition to achieve more, is enough to convince most Korean women that you have some direction in life.
But if you’re still living in your parent’s basement, and collecting welfare checks…well…you have your work cut out for you.
12. You Make The Moves
This tip is really important. If you’re standing around waiting for a Korean girl to make the first move, you’ll probably die of old age before that happens.
They’re Westernized, modern, hard-working, and all that other good stuff. But they simply cannot be seen to be the one to make the first move – it’s culturally inappropriate for them to do that.
The problem here is that you really need to pay attention to body language and other cues. If you don’t we can guarantee you’ll miss out on meeting some incredible women.
13. Stand Out From The Crowd
Most foreign guys in Korea tend to look and act the same way i.e. they’re working for large corporations, or they teach English in a local school.
But Korean women expect Western guys to be different. They want you to be mysterious and exotic, in the same way you see them as mysterious and exotic.
But most North American and European men visiting or living in Korea look and act like tourists or bored accountants.
So, instead of trying to blend in with the crowd, dress in a way that makes you more of an individual.
14. Use Both Hands
Here’s a little secret that can win you some serious brownie points: Use both hands in social settings.
If, for example, you are presenting your girlfriend with a gift, then do it with both hands. Even if you’re just handing her a drink, do it with both hands.
Because it’s viewed as a polite way to behave, plus it shows you took the time to understand her culture.
But never, ever hand her something using just your left hand. That’s a serious faux pas on your part.
15. Korean Women Are Constantly Busy
Your Korean belle will have a good job, possibly even a corporate one. What you won’t realize is just how hard she works, including evenings and weekends.
Then you need to factor in her family, her social life, and any other commitments she has, including her addiction to social media.
Note: Korean women are absolutely addicted to being active on as many social platforms as possible. Every meal is photographed, and every experience retweeted.
So, don’t get the hump if she cancels on you.
She’s not being rude – she has just literally run out of time that day to get everything done.
16. Text Her Back Immediately
Is texting that big a deal to Korean girls?
You are literally playing with fire if you decide to play the waiting game with women here. If she texts you then do your best to text back straight away.
In fact, we’d suggest developing the habit of texting her first thing in the morning, several times during the day, and then last thing at night.
The same applies to missed calls – if you do miss a call from her then call back straight away.
17. Not All Korean Girls Will Date You
Korea is one of the most homogenous countries in the world.
What we mean by that is that they tend not to date externally.
Even now it’s still frowned upon by more traditional parents, so don’t be surprised if you get weird stares from total strangers when you’re with your Korean girl.
But more importantly, some single Korean women will flat out refuse to date a foreign guy. She’s not playing hard to get – she’s simply not interested.
So don’t treat it like some kind of romantic challenge to win her over – if she’s not interested in foreign guys then move on immediately.
Although Korea is a Westernized country, their dating culture and way of life is still very much Korean i.e. there are major differences you need to be aware of.
We hope this blog post has made you very aware of that.
Which of our tips made the most sense to you, or do you have a tip you’d like to share with us? Let us know by leaving a comment below.
San Francisco native and former T.V. producer. Toby has traveled to over 50 countries. He’s now happily married to a beautiful Thai woman.