Library Of Love

Library of love

All of us need a little help sometimes. That is a fact, but at the same time I know that most of the visitors to International Love Scout are productive, successful, and generally happy guys.

So, the library is not about encouraging you to radically change you life. You probably don’t need to radically change your life. If you do you need more help than we can provide.

But if you need a little nudge in the right direction or a reminder of the kind of man you have the talent to be you are in the right place. These books are selected because they are good reads and they offer concepts that you can apply to your own life or at least make you think about your own life.

Still it amazes me that most men spend more time researching their fantasy football team than they spend trying to learn how to live a happy, productive life. Men just tries to wing it even if all they have gotten winging it in the past is flaming crashes, but romance is complicated and utterly mysterious to most people.

So, spend some time, do some research, and try not to make the same romantic mistakes you have in the past. Understanding the human dynamics underlying dating, romance, marriage, and sustaining a happy relationship can help you find the happiness you need.

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The list here has a broader focus than just international dating or even relationships with women.  All of these books were chosen because they illuminate certain messages that might be helpful for certain men in their search for love and fulfillment.  These also chosen because I have read them all and many years ago I learned never to recommend anything that I had not read myself.

Some the books are self-help books that focus on growing and developing as a human being, because the better person you are the easier it will be for you to be a great husband, father, son, brother, uncle, and member of society at large. 

For most of my life I was not a huge fan of self-help books, but in the last few years I have read more of them and I do think there is some real value in trying to directly address the issue of improving your life.

Take a look at what you want to change in your life and go for it.  Will you succeed?  Probably not, at least not on your first effort, but if you keep trying you can gradually transform your life.  And regardless of whether or not you really try your life will gradually shift and change.  More than likely you are old enough that you understand that, so instead of simply drifting along why not try to take control of your destiny?

General Self-Help Books

So, there are some self-help books in the International Love Scout Library and truthfully there should probably be more, but one you read a couple from here there will lead you to a gigantic universe of self-help books.

A scientific analysis of change.

Of the pure self-help books, the one that I recommend the most often is Change or Die because it is self-help book that started off as a business book.  It is interesting, cool, and evidence based. It can help you change your life or change you business.

On the other side of the self-help universe is Shut Up, Stop Whining, and Get a Life by Larry Winget.  It is emotional, funny, and blunt, but it is worth the time.  The message here is simple and gets repeated two or three times on every page, but it is a message all of us need to hear sometimes. 

Just shut-up, grab your tools, and get to work. You can do it. You have done it before and you can do it now. “Get on with it!” as an old Royal Marine used to say.

Being a Modern Man

It isn’t easy to be a modern man.  It is just not.   The basic tasks that men were designed for through all of human history are a lot less important –  except when they are not.

Most men do not have to worry about protecting their families from tigers, floods, or rampaging Huns.  Well, except when they do.  So, today most men spend 99.9999% of their lives pushing away from the basic macho roles for men played for nearly all of human history.  And it is not a bad thing day in and day out.  Life is a lot easier in the twenty-first century than in the first century.  It is safer, more comfortable, and far less malodorous.

But sometimes a guy needs those primal instincts in a mugging or a flood, but also for mating.  We learn and unlearn thousands of behaviors to be socialized and successful, but sometimes those same behaviors you need to be successful on the job or in school can imperil you on the street or in the dating world.  So, being a modern man is full of hidden pitfalls and dangers.  On some level it is crazy.

So, a lot of the books are about the problems of being a man.  We are men and we have issues.  That is a fact.  The one book that I like the most about sort of the pressures of manhood is Into The Wild.  It is short and easy to read and gripping, but tragic.  It is a tale of how not to live your life.

On the other hand, The Last Lecture is the brilliant story of a life well lived.  It is an awesome book about a modern man who lived a rich, but all too short life.  It is definitely worth a read.  It is simply the best book I have ever read about how to live and die as a successful and happy modern man.

You might believe that the next most important topics at International Love Scout are romance and dating. They are not. The next most important topic is women.

Finding a woman to complete your life is what you came to this website looking for, but how much do you really know about women?

The Modern Woman

Yeah, see the problem?

And although it is not fashionable for someone writing to a male audience to say this it is pretty complicated to be a modern woman too.  Remember, she pretty much had very simple set of priorities for most of human history too, but know some people tell her she should push her boundaries and become a Navy SEAL or that it is better to be the CEO than the MOM.

So, the modern world throws a lot at women too.  That means you need to learn something about women, which is often hard for men.  Trust me, I certainly understand.  One of the very best books about women by a woman – and a man – that gets right to the heart of what we are interested in is simply titled: Why Women Have Sex: Women Reveal the Truth About Their Sex Lives, from Adventure to Revenge (and Everything in Between)

This is a must read for everyone interested in having sex with a woman.  No, you don’t have to read the book to have sex with a woman.  Thousands of generations of men did not need to read a book to figure out how to get women to have sex, but we live in a different world and for a lot of guys this book will be liberating and sort of a relief.

Finally, I did include one seduction manual.  I am not wild about seduction manuals – not because they are scams – but frankly because they teach a lot of unethical techniques that DO work.   Lying, tricking, overawing, and simply exhausting a girl to get in her pants is not going to lead to long term happiness and it could lead to rape charges.  So, no I am not a fan of that genre.

This seduction manual different is right in the title: Get Inside Her: Dirty Dating Tips & Secrets From A Woman On How To Attract, Seduce And Get Any Female You Want.  It is written by a woman and will give you a fair, honest, and… well honorable approach to winning a woman’s affection without sliding into the lying, tricking, and general deception that is such an important part of most seduction manuals.

It is a solid read.

Dating Books

So, by now you have probably began to wonder, “Where are the dating books?” The problem is that there are not a lot of good dating books out there. Many dating guides are overwritten and full of hype with no actionable advice.

Then there so-called “Seduction Manuals” which are even worse, because they encourage men to treat women as no more than meat on the hoof to be herded into the right direction. Some of their tips can work in the short term, but in the long term advice of a so-call “pick-up artist” just might get you arrested.

The Tactical Guide to Women: How Men Can Manage Risk in Dating and Marriage is different. It is a pro-male book, but it is not anti-female. It offers a lot of research based advice and is a good guide for mature men.

History and Biography

So, the final group of books in the library are works of history and biography.  Why?  Well, because sometimes history and biography can be incredible learning tools.  I do not really believe that a single self-help book can change your life, but it can give you some tools to apply to your problems.

Well written history and biography give you concepts to consider and philosophies to ponder.  They teach, but with a different and sometimes more powerful set of tools.  Often one great work of history or biography can send a person’s life in a different direction.

For instance, you might not believe you have anything in common with Winston Churchill, but if you read William Manchester’s Last Lion you might reconsider.  No one imagined that Churchill was going to save Western Civilization when he was a child.

The link above is to the audio version which is really great. If you don’t think you have time for all this reading can be a great option, because it allows you to “read” in the gym, while driving, or whenever you have a little spare time.

He was a geek. A dimwit who was had to repeat English over and over again. His father went mad and his mother became essentially the highest paid prostitute in the world. He stuttered until he was about twenty-one and most people who thought about him at all assumed he would leave no mark at all in the world.

And yet, Churchill made himself into the man he wanted to be and became arguably the single most important person to ever live.  This is a great book that has been described as the best biography in English.  I am not sure about that, but it is a great book.

An autobiography that I put in the same category is Fighter Pilot by Robin Olds.  Yes, it is a riveting story of air combat beginning in 1943 over Europe and ending in 1968 over Southeast Asia, but it is also a beautiful story of a man to be a good husband, father, and son.

History and Cultural Studies

You should read up a little on the culture of the countries you are visiting.

Natasha’s Dance: A Cultural History of Russia is an absolutely brilliant book about Russian and Ukrainian culture.  You might not think you will enjoy a book that discusses music, fashion, and food in great detail, but this is a fascinating work of cultural history.

Out of Mao’s Shadow is an interesting history of modern China.

At The Gates of Europe is a very well done history of Ukraine.  It explains Ukraine’s Cossack heritage and goes right up until 2016.  If you are thinking about visiting Ukraine you should definitely give it a read.

We will continually update the Library, so check back regularly.  And yes, there is no real order to the books because I want to make sure that you have a chance to browse.

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