Dating Swedish women is the dream for generations of men from Auckland to Goose Bay and everywhere in between. There was a time that Swedish mail order brides were huge in the United States and Canada.
Sadly, that period ended with the start of the First World War and is now just a part of history.
Today to meet amazing Swedish girls you are going to need to fly into Stockholm, but it is a great place for a single man to vacation. No, it is not a hot spot for international dating like Thailand and the Philippines. You are going to have to work a little, but – if you are willing to make a little effort – it is a great destination to meet beautiful women.
One of the best reasons for single men to visit this cold nation in far Northern Europe is that 78% of Swedish women claim they have a “high sex drive” and out of those over half claim in a recent survey. That is miles ahead of the United States, Australia, and Canada, but additionally, these women are HOT!
I love Sweden. The entire world should be like Sweden. They all like to drink and get naked, and the women are hot. I can’t think of a better nation on the planet.Drew Curtis, online news aggregator
And if this sounds too good to be true, what’s really going to blow your mind is that the majority of Swedish women are single – yes even many of the tall, slim blondes and brunettes with amazing skin and piercing eyes.
So, there are lots of sexy single women with high sex drives. Do you really need any other reasons to visit Sweden?
The Stockholm Dating Syndrome
Ah Sweden, the land of tall, blonde, gorgeous maidens stretching as far as the eye can see.
That’s not actually too far off the mark, but not all Swedish women are blonde and any mental images you have of scantily clad female Viking warriors are best left at home.
What you have in Sweden is another perfect example of a European country that is home to some of the most strikingly beautiful women on the planet, but is regularly overlooked by guys in search of a foreign wife or girlfriend.
This means European guys are missing out on opportunities that are literally at their doorstep. And American guys are missing a chance to play one of the greatest opening lines in dating history.
Women here are beautiful, easy going and very friendly towards guys from other countries, but they have an especially weak spot for Americans.
Why are so many of these women single?
Well, Swedish socialists have controlled the government for almost a century. They have created a society with a great healthcare system, good schools, and an awesome retirement system. So, women do not need to get married, even if they have kids, and the constant attacks from Swedish feminist have cowed men into silence. Not just silence about politics, but silence about everything.
And that can really work to your advantage, because foreign men really are hotter in Sweden.
So, here are 10 tips for dating Swedish women:
Tip 1 – Funny Tricks That Swedish Women Cannot Resist!
Swedes have German roots, so they have a very similar sense of humor. And that means you’d probably need a hunting dog and a SEAL team to find it.
That’s just the culture here, so comedy is something that all Nordic peoples struggle with. And that also means Swedish women very rarely meet a local guy who can tickle their funny bone.
A Swedish movie producer discussing Nordic humor explained that Swedes, “…love the dry Anglo-Saxon sense of humour…” and that is good for you my friend.
So, the fact that Swedes are polite and extraordinarily restrained is good news for you, as is the fact they rarely smile.
You can be the funny, quirky foreign guy who always smiles and tells jokes. This instantly makes you stand out from the hordes of serious Swedes, and so long as you don’t overdo it you’ll find women really dig it.
Because they are not going to get that from all the tall, fit, and luckily for you very dour Swedish guys.
Tip 2 – You’re Not A Tall Nordic Male
Yes, most Swedish guys seem to be tall, handsome dudes, who dress well and basically look like shaved and groomed Vikings. But there are so many of them that they basically all look the same to the women.
Part of it is summed up by the old saying of familiarity breeds contempt, so play to the fact that you’re different from most of the guys they’re used to seeing. To be fair, you probably won’t have to try very hard because you’re not Swedish, so won’t have any of their traits.
Hell, even gingers can do well on the dating scene here simply because they look completely different to your average Swedish male. In fact, men with red hair might just find their soulmate amongst all the redheaded women here. Yes, Swedish women can also be ginger.
Women love the prestige of dating the type of guy their friends haven’t dated yet, so don’t sweat the fact that you’re not 6-foot 4-inches tall, blonde and look like you carry trees around for a living.
Talk, talk, talk!
Having been brought up in a liberal and modern society makes Swedish girls confident, successful, and independent. The people are not overly romanticized as many Western countries can be, so they have one of the highest percentages of singles in European countries.Source
If you just talk you have a shot, because most of the Swedish guys are so dry, so careful, and so dull. It is the same reason that many Swedish girls find a talkative American or Brit so attractive.
Swede’s are notoriously bad at small talk. Don’t let that bother you. In fact, you can make it a point to only talk to hot women and avoid chatting with all the dudes you might have to talk to in Texas or New South Wales.
The worse a woman will do is politely answer and move along. So, be it. But a decent number of women in Stockholm will find it interesting and endearing.
Tip 3 – Dating Is Not Dating
Global dating has its quirks, and Sweden is just chock full of those, but in a slightly disarming and charming way.
One perfect example of this is that dating here doesn’t really exist…even though it totally does.
What exactly do we mean when we say that “dating isn’t dating”. Well, it comes down to the fact that the majority of Swedish women don’t like the idea of dating because it implies commitment to somebody they barely know.
So, never ask them out on a date because it has the same effect as farting in an elevator.
But you most definitely can ask them out for fika, which is an informal date for coffee and pastries. Friends also have fika, so that’s why Swedes prefer it to an actual “date”.
If you have fika with the same girl several times she probably knows you’re interested in dating her, but never refer to your meetings as “a date”, even if you’ve met her for coffee and cinnamon buns several times.
Oh and this weirdness extends to things like a movie and drinks or inviting her out to dinner i.e. even if it’s obvious that you’re going on a date, please never refer to it as a date.
If you grew up in one of the more conservative parts of the United States, say Utah or Mississippi, you will probably find this lack of commitment relaxing.
Tip 4 – Avoid The Vanity
Swedish men are good looking, but they’re vain AF too. It must be genetic because some of the women are equally vain and shallow. They know they’re really beautiful and sometimes their ego gets the better of them.
There is a joke about Swedish men that goes something like this, “Why do Swedish men always go outside when there’s lightning?”
“Because they think someone’s taking a picture of them!”
To be fair, if you grew up looking like Alex Skarsgard’s body double then you’d probably be a little bit vain too.
But the thing is that women actually hate vanity in a man. They might tolerate it, but deep down women want their men to be men…even Swedish feminists.
Take care of your appearance by all means, but avoid spending more time in the mirror than your girlfriend. You might skip the hair gel, for instance.
The reason why she’s dating a non-Swedish guy like you is so she doesn’t have to put up with the level of narcissistic vanity she gets with local guys.
Tip 5 – Hug But Don’t Kiss
Typical of Sweden, unlike pretty much every other country on the planet, you don’t kiss women on the cheek when you meet them.
Not even if you’ve known them for a while and they’re comfortable in your company. If you accidentally do lean in to kiss any Swedish woman on the cheek don’t get butt hurt when she recoils in horror.
But hugging is totally fine. In fact, hugging before and after meeting a woman is expected, especially if you’re meeting for fika. If you don’t hug her before and after fika then she’ll wonder what’s wrong with you.
Just no kissing of the cheek, or anywhere else on her face.
But how do you know when to let go from a hug after fika or drinks? After all, this is the easiest transition to a kiss known to man.
You tread very carefully, and hug for just slightly longer than is usual, and if she doesn’t pull away then she feels the same way.
Tip 6 – She’s Probably A Feminist But…
Sweden is viewed as something of a feminist utopia, and many women would classify themselves as feminists, just not the blue-haired SJW type. We’re talking classical feminism where it’s about equality of opportunity and not a hatred of men and everything phallic.
But despite all the gender equality hoo-ha you read about, and Swedes like to boast about, women are still women here. They haven’t flushed their femininity away despite the fact they embrace feminist ideals. Anything but, in fact!
All those liberal Swedish guys who refuse to hold open a door, or pull her chair out? Yeah, don’t be one of those. She’s had a gutful of men who are afraid to show any manly instincts (these people were Vikings for the love of Pete!) in case they offend somebody.
Don’t be afraid to behave in a gentlemanly manner, because even the most staunch Swedish feminist can’t resist a touch of chivalry in a guy.
One exception here is that if she offers to split the bill with you then don’t get into an argument over it. Swedish women are notoriously financially independent. The plus side here is that gold diggers are almost nowhere to be found.
Tip 7 – Speak In Public
No, this doesn’t mean you have to join Toast Masters. You already know that Swedes are very reserved, and this includes having random conversations with relative strangers in public or on public transport.
This almost never happens.
Swedish guys avoid these situations like the plague itself, even if they’re sitting next to a particularly stunning girl who’s reading the same book they are, for example.
This staggering level of social awkwardness and restraint means that Swedish women simply aren’t used to guys speaking to them in public places, so it’s virgin territory. No pun intended.
Just remember that looking for opportunities to chat with an attractive woman isn’t the same as talking to them if they’re obviously not interested in talking to you.
Tip 8 – Don’t Be A Player
Don’t ever consider dating more than one Swedish girl at a time. While your girlfriend will be fine with you meeting other female friends for fika, she’ll assume that your relationship with her is 100% exclusive.
The problem is she might never have said this directly to you. Because that’s how things roll in Sweden i.e. you went straight from fika to a long-term relationship without ever uttering the word “date”.
You can hang out with as many Swedish women as you want, but if your girlfriend catches you actually flirting with them, or trying to have a side girl, then she’ll dump you quicker than you can say vad hände?
She took a lot of time to come to a decision to actually date you, so any betrayal – perceived or otherwise – on your part is pretty much the worst thing you can do to her.
Tip 9 – Pay Her Compliments
Another quirk of the dating scene here is that most guys won’t pay girls a compliment. This is not because they don’t want to, but again it’s one of those social norms here where girls rarely have guys wax lyrical about how pretty they are.
Or it’s the exact opposite, with some drunken moron yelling “compliments” at her in the street.
Either way this is a pretty crappy experience for these Nordic beauties, so you should be the change you want to see in the world.
She’ll probably be surprised to hear the first compliment you pay her, and she’ll love the attention…so long as you don’t overdo it. Yes, even feminists want to hear that they look cute or sexy.
Hint: Don’t overdo it. They hate this ALMOST as much as getting no compliments at all.
Tip 10 – Know The Local Dating Rules
And our final tip is a kind of roundup of things you need to know to make your Swedish dating adventure as successful as possible.
The first of these is that you should text her as often as she texts you. Don’t play mind games where you don’t reply to texts for 72-hours. She’ll assume you’re not interested, and then promptly lose interest in you.
Be nice to her friends. Why? Because most Swedish guys don’t make the effort to do that, and she values her friend’s opinion of you as much as she does her own. You don’t have to be best friends with her girl friends, but don’t be dismissive of them either.
Once you’re actually in a relationship, expect to see your girlfriend at least twice a week. Most adult Swedes live alone, so don’t expect to move in straight away. If you don’t spend time with her on a regular basis she’ll dump you because she simply doesn’t have the time or patience to figure out what you want.
Public displays of affection such as hugging, or putting your arm around her waist, are acceptable. But kissing in public isn’t something most young Swedish couples do.
Swedish girls have a slightly unrealistic view of how the real world works, so avoid discussing biological differences between men and women, or anything that might shake her socialist views of the world.
And finally, Swedish women don’t flirt. If they like what they see they’ll come and take it. Yes, really.
Special Tip For American Men
OK, sometimes it is good to be an American. At Thanksgiving, the Fourth of July, or in a situation somewhere in Africa where nothing is going to save you short of a special forces team. Or if you are a single American guy visiting Sweden.
You see Sweden and the United States have a special relationship. About 1.5 million Swedish immigrants came to the United States before 1923. These Swedes were often poor farmers who had been too poor to have big families in the old country, but in the United States it was a different matter and Swedes often had gigantic immigrant families.
At one point, Chicago had more Swedes than Stockholm and Minnesota, Iowa, Nebraska, and the Dakotas had huge numbers of Swedish settlers. That is why you see Lutheran churches spread across the region.
So, an American can pretty well show up in Sweden and say he is researching his family tree. It is common and a lot less creepy than claiming you are coming to try to pick up Swedish bikini models. And really, do you KNOW you are not partially descended from some crazy Swedish guy?
Seriously, it is hard to be sure.
And in fact, lots of people from Scotland and England are descended from earlier Nordic immigrants. Sure, we call those guys Vikings, but we can’t really choose our ancestors.
And though, this tip works best for American men, Swedes also immigrated in large numbers to Canada, and some must have had the good sense to get to Australia and New Zealand in the old days.
Summing Up Swedish Blondes
As you can see, Swedish women have their quirks, but if you follow these tips then you will be able to navigate the dating scene there successfully and with a minimum of headaches. Because of the feminist culture Swedish girls tend to be independent and super low maintenance.
The problem for them is that Swedish men are scared to make even that much effort, because they have been pounded by a century of feminism and even old traditions from Lutheranism and Old Norse culture. So, if you are a normal American, Canadian, or British guy you are going to seem like a paragon of traditional male charm.
If you are Australian, they will probably think you are a caveman, so don’t overdo it. Don’t act like a macho jerk, but being friendly, chatty, and confident can really work wonders in Sweden, especially if you are funny.
And do remember, if you are a jerk Swedish women will shoot you down – fast. So, just be friendly, funny, and don’t let the silence bother you. You are not trying to make Sweden into Tennessee you are simply trying to strike up a conversation with a pretty girl or two.
If you get that far then you have to see if there is any chemistry, but remember, in Sweden, because of those awesome socialist, there is no social stigma to hooking up. So, there are tons of sexy single women living in a country with no stigma to hooking up.
Does that sound good?
Well, it’s also worth mentioning that the birth rate in Sweden is in crisis right now, so there are now lots of single feminists who want to be Swedish brides. They’re actively looking for men who want to settle down and have kids, because feminism won’t keep you warm at night or share your golden years with you.
All of these things makes Sweden one of the single best places on the planet right to meet single, beautiful women who have the exact same life goals as you.
And if you don’t find the woman of your dreams in Stockholm you can check out our Ukrainian blonds. They are actually distant cousins to sexy Swedish girls. I am sure you can see the resemblance.
San Francisco native and former T.V. producer. Toby has traveled to over 50 countries. He’s now happily married to a beautiful Thai woman.