Mail Order Bride Profiles
What is a Mail Order Bride?
The simple answer to this question is that a mail order bride is a woman who marries a man from another country. The term is archaic, but it goes back to a time where companies sold addresses to men in the form of a catalog.
Today these are simply women who sign up for a website that caters to men beyond their own countries, usually the United States and Western Europe.
That is why we use the term mail order bride and international dating interchangeably, because a mail order bride is simply a woman engaging in international dating.
Foreign Women Seeking Serious Relationships
If you are thinking about pursuing foreign girls for marriage there are several issues that you should consider. The first of course is what area of the world you are considering pursing a bride from?
There are cultural differences between say Eastern European lady and an Asian woman, but you should avoid falling into the trap of stereotyping foreign brides, because this can fatally poison your relationship before it ever starts.
The foreign women who sign up for international dating agencies are individuals and you should never forget that fact. You can find a Russian woman who is totally submissive and there are Filipinas who are pushy type A women.
Whatever grain of truth existed in the national stereotypes has changed, because the countries where most of the mail order brides today come from have under gone enormous social, political, and economic change in the last twenty-five years.
Russian ladies that grew up in the last dreary days of the crumbling Soviet Union had vastly different life experience than young Russian bride who grew up with the internet in a more or less free society. So, the old stereotype of an Eastern European lady as a pushy, materialistic, green card bride, which was always a gross exaggeration of the worst Russian ladies, is much less true today.
The same thing hold true for the myth of submissiveness among Latin and Asian ladies. Yes, when Commodore Perry first sailed into Tokyo Bay Japanese women were very submissive, because Japanese society was highly ordered and because there were very stiff penalties, including potential violence, for women that violated the social norm as a submissive woman.
However, modern Japan and the Japan of a hundred and fifty years ago is wildly different and you should not expect to meet Madame Butterfly when you visit Tokyo today.
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You really have to track very far off the beaten path to find foreign girls who are not a part of the broader world culture on some level. Yes, there are Russian ladies who have never been online and Chinese girls whose family raised her to honor and always obey her husband.
However, today those foreign girls still probably know who Brad Pitt is and have some idea of current fashion and even more important know that women in the US and the European Union lead vastly different lives than they live.
Remember, foreign girls are signing up with Global dating agencies, because they are not happy with their marriage prospects in their home country, not simply to make you happy.
In fact, the whole concept of the submissive mail order bride is simplistic and poorly thought out and it is a trap that can ruin your relationship before it ever starts. Think about the process of what a girl goes through on the road to becoming a mail order bride and you will realize that very few truly submissive wallflowers are going to have the guts to go down that path.
Regardless of where a foreign lady grew up, it takes confidence and intelligence for a woman to turn away from men in her own country and decide instead try to marry a man from another part of the world.
She may be facing awful economic and social conditions, but it still takes courage, vision, and a sense of hopefulness for a foreign woman to make the choice to sign up with a global dating agency.
So, choose an area of the world based on what seems interesting to you for your international marriage and perhaps on your experience with immigrants from the area, but don’t simply accept the old stereotypes.
Date And Marry A Younger Women
One of the main attractions of international marriage for many men is the undeniable attraction of marrying a younger woman. This attraction for younger women at the height of their child bearing potential is obviously hardwired into men.
Not that older women do not have many charms, but the pursuit of younger women by older men is prevelant in every major cultural group around the world.
However, before you begin the process of pursuing a young foreign bride you need to ask yourself some important questions. First, are you interested in a particular young lady or younger ladies in particular?
This is a critical distinction.
If there is a growing mutual attraction between you and a particular younger woman, regardless of a large age difference, that is probably a good thing.
If on the other hand you are simply attracted to younger women, because they are young that is probably a sign of trouble. Do you believe that younger women are really any fundamentally different emotionally and psychologically than their older sisters? They aren’t.
They are just in a different place in life, but taken as a whole they have the same desires, demands, and concerns as older women. And if you have a long term relationship with a younger woman she is going to get older. Think about that.
You will not be able to mislead her or scam her, well not for long. So, give up any overt or subliminal desires to control a younger woman, because this is perhaps the single most corrosive thought that can creep into any relationship and it will almost certainly eventually doom the marriage.
There is nothing wrong about being open to dating and perhaps marrying a younger woman, but do not fixate on it. And recognize that she is going to grow and develop throughout your relationship, in fact, whether you are twenty-five or eighty-five, so will you.
So, be flexible about the dynamics of your relationship, because they will change.
Next consider for a moment if you are mature enough to marry a younger woman? You know the what the real causes of failure in your earlier relationships were. And some, perhaps even most, of the blame for those failures was yours. That is the honest truth and it is critical.
Be honest with yourself and try to grow as a person. If do not recognize your own weaknesses and try to correct them then you are just asking for a world of hurt and humiliation. If you bring the same set of beliefs to this new relationship that you used in your earlier failed relationships the end result is almost certainly going to be the same.
Dating Foreign Girls – What to Expect
Take some time to read up on successful relationships. One of the great advantages of dating a foreign bride is that it will take you at least a few weeks, and usually a few months, before you can actually go see her in person. Use that time to try to take an honest assessment of your issues and work on them.
There are thousands of good books about relationships, read a few and try to put appropriate ideas to good use in your life.
Be flexible. A younger woman is going to surprise you, because she has grown up in a different world from you. In the most successful May-December romances this is what helps to keep the spark alive, but you have to be willing to see that these surprises as good things that bring you both closer together.
Get ready for the strong reactions you will receive from friends and family? You may believe you know what to expect, but you will probably be surprised. The jealous and judgmental reaction from both men and women will probably surprise you.
If you have kids, particularly if they are close in age to your new wife, they are going to be surprised. Let them know that this new relationship makes you very happy and does not change your love for them.
Finally, keep an open mind about age when pursuing girls for marriage, because you may find that you are actually more attracted to women who are a little closer to your age when you meet them in person.
Frequently Asked Questions About Mail Order Brides
NO! Hell, no!
Mail order brides are not for sale!
The modern mail order bride industry is not about slavery, prostitution, or human trafficking: It is about ROMANCE.
The term mail order bride is an archaic term that suggests that a guy simply scans a web site and picks out the girl he is interested in, pays the price, and buys a wife. That is NOT how the modern international dating and marriage industry works.
Essentially, international dating agencies are very similar to Match.com or eharmony.com, but the women you meet on these agencies are nearly all from Asia, Latin America, and Eastern Europe, and the international agencies tend to offer more services than domestic internet dating agencies.
For one thing, international dating agencies are much more concerned about scammers than domestic agencies, because there are so many myths about scammers on international dating sites. For instance, at many international dating sites, the ones International Love Scout calls “full-service”, someone from the agency has actually met many of the women in person, which vastly reduces the opportunity for scammers.
Mail order bride sites also offer a lot of useful services for a guy involved in the ultimate long distance relationship such as, translation, tour guides, apartment rentals, drivers, and so on.
If you want to know more about the history of mail order brides check out the articles in our Scholarly Research Section.
How much will it cost me to spend several months chatting and then travel to meet a woman?
That depends on a lot of factors, but if you get really serious about a girl and decide go to meet her it will begin to add up quickly. In that case, you should probably budget at least $5,000 for the trip. You can certainly spend more and you might be able to spend less, but don’t plan on it.
Actually, for most financially stable middle-class guys in Western Europe, the United States, or Australia, International dating can work out cheaper than dating a woman from their home town (Especially if that home town is on the pricy side like Los Angeles or New York).
If you need more information we have a long article that explains the cost of mail order brides in great detail.
This is one of those strange questions we have been asked more than once and it always makes us scratch our collective heads.
The answer to this question is a resounding, “Yes!”
Not only are Mail order brides legal, they also have a long, honorable, successful history – especially in the United States. There are literally hundreds of thousands if not millions of Americans descended from traditional mail order brides.
And it was never slavery. Yes, during the 1800s men in the rural West often sent money for the travel expenses of the women they selected from catalogs or the newspaper classified ads. But there was never a notion that they were buying a wife. These arrangements were as beneficial to the women as they were to the men.
So, why are guys constantly asking us “Is it legal to mail-order a bride?”
When the modern international dating movement started, well-meaning but completely uniformed feminist professors began a relentless propaganda campaign against the movement. And eventually they convinced the media and lawmakers of their case, although they had no research to support their claims.
They made the term “mail order bride” a derogatory term synonymous with sexual slavery. It was sad and stupid and hurt a lot of good men and women. But they failed in making mail order brides illegal
They did get several countries including the United States, Australia, and the United Kingdom to pass laws regulating international dating, which is probably a good thing.
They also managed to get several countries including Russia, Belarus, Philippines, and Cambodia to place certain restrictions on how international dating companies operate inside those countries.
The most serious rules are in the Philippines, but those laws were aimed at Korean and Chinese organizations that were actually practicing human trafficking.
So, the answer to the question is that mail order brides sites are 100% legal!
No women are never out for your money.
Look women are women everywhere. Are some of them gold diggers? Sure, but what nearly all mail order brides really want is a good man.
And yes, we have an article about the myth that mail order brides are just gold diggers.
This is another one that tends to shock men. The marriages that occur between couples that first meet on international dating sites probably last longer than most marriages.
That might sound hard to believe but the academic research proves it. If you have any doubts you should go read our article about Divorce and the Mail Order Bride.
That is one of the craziest things about international dating, the agencies are all different, very different. They offer different services and have different costs.
Go over to our Dating Agency Review page and read up on the differences.
Scammers are a valid concern, but it you shouldn’t let these shysters keep you from pursuing your dreams. Use a little common sense, don’t send money, look for form letters, and, most importantly, use a reliable agency.
A good agency will often punt the scammer before she hits you and the best agencies have some sort of personal interaction with the women in they feature on their site. This allows them to confirm some or most of what the lady claims in her profile.
At ILS we encourage you to careful, not paranoid.
The simple answer to the question is an absolute and emphatic, “NO!”
Think about the companies that give guarantees.
Craftsman Tools is famous for their lifetime guarantee on wrenches, hammers, and other hand tools. LL Bean used to have a lifetime guarantee on their boots, but they had to change it recently. People were abusing it, but it is still an awesome guarantee.
There are also some great service guarantees for cameras, phones, and even cars today. People love a rock solid guarantee.
So, great companies often guarantee their physical products, but what no one ever guarantees are services that deal with the actions of human beings.
Doctors, counselors, and lawyers almost never offer any guarantees. They can’t, because it is almost impossible to predict what people will do in any situation – especially in matters of love.
No one can guarantee someone is going to fall in love with you. Love simply does not work like that. So, if a dating site makes any type of written guarantee that you will find a wife, read it very carefully.
What will a marriage agency guarantee?
There are several companies we work with that come close to a guarantee.
I know one matchmaker that will work with you over and over for a year if you do not find the woman of your dreams on your first trip to Ukraine.
But the only company I know of to regularly give refunds to disappointed customers is A Foreign Affair. But even that is not a written in stone guarantee and depends on the circumstances.
A lot of the requests AFA gets for refunds are a little nuts. For instance, they regularly have guys on their tours who meet an amazing lady on the first stop of the tour and decide to skip the rest of the trip, and then want to be reimbursed for the parts of the trip they are not going on BECAUSE THEY FOUND A GREAT GIRL!
Read our reviews. Each agency offers a different mix of profiles, services, and the fee structures vary widely.
Most of the agencies give you something, perhaps access to more of the women’s photos or a mail box, for becoming a free member, and becoming a free member is a good way to start your relationship with the agencies. Then if you decide to become a paying member be sure to carefully read the all of the terms and conditions.
If you understand what you’re purchasing when you sign up you will be much more satisfied.
No, we offer reviews and suggestions.
However, we only highlight profiles from agencies that we believe are among the very best with good anti-scam policies and an outstanding track record of customer service, and we prefer agencies that actually make an effort to confirm the information in each profile.
Much of it is economics. Most of these women realize that they can have a better life for themselves and their children in a more developed nation than they can have if they stay in their homeland, whether they are from the former Soviet Bloc, Latin America, South Asia, or Africa.
However, there are also social and cultural issues involved, because in many respects women are treated better in Western countries than they are in much of the world.
If you speak the girl’s native language and have connections in her home country maybe you don’t need to take a tour, but otherwise it will probably save you a lot of hassles and maybe even end up cheaper.
For instance, what if you travel all the way to the other side of the world and your “girl” never shows? If you are part of a tour the guides will help you contact her and find out what happened. Maybe she missed her train or couldn’t get off work at the last minute. If you do not know the language and know the country it can be difficult to sort out even simple problems.
Or what if you planned to spend two weeks with her, but after two hours you cannot stand this woman for another two minutes? Well, if you are on a tour there will be plenty of chances to meet other women. Women that actually want to meet foreign men.
Finally, what if you lose your wallet, or get sick, or have a few too many drinks and do something dumb? These tour operators are pros and they deal with these issues on a regular basis and they can really help you out.
First, it is important to realize that there are really two main types of international dating agencies: Address services and full-service introduction agencies.
Address services essentially sell the contact information of the women on their site to men from around the world.
Generally, these companies never have any contact personal with the women on their sites and never try to verify the information that in the profiles is legitimate, and, if you read deep enough into their sign up material, the good sites tell you this.
So, the hot blond you are emailing, may not be hot, blond, or even female. That nagging fear about being scammed is the number one reason that men do not sign up for foreign dating sites.
Of course, the other good address agencies will ban scammers when they realize the problem, but that won’t help you wallet or your heart if you get scammed.
Because of these issues, Cherry Blossoms is the only address service that International Love Scout currently recommends.
Cherry Blossoms gives us much better coverage of Southeast Asia and they are the oldest international dating agency, with literally tens of thousands of successful relationships to their credit, but the level of service and protection are different from our other recommended sites.
All of our other feature profiles come from full service introduction agencies that sell tours and other services in addition to addresses or messages. Part of the reason is simple economics.
You as a customer are more valuable to full service introduction agencies, because their real goal is to sell you the tour and everything that goes along with that. So, they are more serious about scammers and more concerned about customer service.
Think about it. Are you going to fork over thousands of dollar for a tour to a company that connects you with scammers or fails to do a great job helping you contact the women?
No, of course not, so the full-service introduction agencies have an economic incentive to treat you well throughout the process and that is why ILS feels more comfortable recommending full-service agencies.
Also, ultimately, if you meet someone great, you are going to want to meet them in person. So, developing a relationship with a tour company is probably a good thing in most cases.
Editor-in chief – An over educated international traveler, he sets ILS’ light, positive tone. Charlie constantly pushes to ensure every article is supported by good sources, preferably from peer reviewed journals, government reports, or top-flight newspapers and magazines.