We get alot of email from guys asking a variety of different questions about subjects related to International Dating. Here are some of the more common questions guys have:
- Are mail order brides for sale?
- How does ILS decide which agencies to review?
- What about Scammers?
- How do I choose among the agencies that ILS represents?
- Does ILS guarantee the information in the profiles?
- Why do these women want to leave their own country to find a husband?
- How much will it cost me to spend several months chatting and then travel to meet a woman?
- Why would I want to take a Romance Tour?
No, mail order brides are not for sale! No, no, no! The modern mail order bride industry is not about slavery, prostitution, or human trafficking: It is about ROMANCE.
The term mail order bride is an archaic term that suggests that a guy simply scans a web site and picks out the girl he is interested in, pays the price, and buys a wife. That is NOT how the modern international dating and marriage industry works.
Essentially, international dating agencies are very similar to Match.com or eharmony.com, but the women you meet on these agencies are nearly all from Asia, Latin America, and Eastern Europe, and the international agencies tend to offer more services than domestic internet dating agencies.
For one thing, international dating agencies are much more concerned about scammers than domestic agencies, because there are so many myths about scammers on international dating sites. For instance, at many international dating sites, the ones International Love Scout calls “full-service”, someone from the agency has actually met many of the women in person, which vastly reduces the opportunity for scammers.
Mail order bride sites also offer a lot of useful services for a guy involved in the ultimate long distance relationship such as, translation, tour guides, apartment rentals, drivers, and so on.
First, it is important to realize that there are really two main types of international dating agencies: Address services and full-service introduction agencies.
Address services essentially sell the contact information of the women on their site to men from around the world. Generally, these companies never have any contact personal with the women on their sites and never try to verify the information that in the profiles is legitimate, and, if you read deep enough into their sign up material, the good sites tell you this.
So, the hot blond you are emailing, may not be hot, blond, or even female. That nagging fear about being scammed is the number one reason that men do not sign up for foreign dating sites. Of course, the other good address agencies will ban scammers when they realize the problem, but that won’t help you wallet or your heart if you get scammed.
Because of these issues, Cherry Blossoms is the only address service that International Love Scout currently recommends. Cherry Blossoms gives us much better coverage of Southeast Asia and they are the oldest international dating agency, with literally tens of thousands of successful relationships to their credit, but the level of service and protection are different from our other recommended sites.
All of our other feature profiles come from full service introduction agencies that sell tours and other services in addition to addresses or messages. Part of the reason is simple economics. You as a customer are more valuable to full service introduction agencies, because their real goal is to sell you the tour and everything that goes along with that. So, they are more serious about scammers and more concerned about customer service.
Think about it. Are you going to fork over thousands of dollar for a tour to a company that connects you with scammers or fails to do a great job helping you contact the women? No, of course not, so the full-service introduction agencies have an economic incentive to treat you well throughout the process and that is why ILS feels more comfortable recommending full-service agencies.
Also, ultimately, if you meet someone great, you are going to want to meet them in person. So, developing a relationship with a tour company is probably a good thing in most cases.
Scammers are a valid concern, but it you shouldn’t let these shysters keep you from pursuing your dreams. Use a little common sense, don’t send money, look for form letters, and, most importantly, use a reliable agency. A good agency will often punt the scammer before she hits you and the best agencies have some sort of personal interaction with the women in they feature on their site. This allows them to confirm some or most of what the lady claims in her profile. At ILS we encourage you to careful, not paranoid.
Read our reviews. Each agency offers a different mix of profiles, services, and the fee structures vary widely. Most of the agencies give you something, perhaps access to more of the women’s photos or a mail box, for becoming a free member, and becoming a free member is a good way to start your relationship with the agencies. Then if you decide to become a paying member be sure to carefully read the all of the terms and conditions. If you understand what you’re purchasing when you sign up you will be much more satisfied.
No, we offer reviews and suggestions. However, we only highlight profiles from agencies that we believe are among the very best with good anti-scam policies and an outstanding track record of customer service, and we prefer agencies that actually make an effort to confirm the information in each profile.
Much of it is economics. Most of these women realize that they can have a better life for themselves and their children in a more developed nation than they can have if they stay in their homeland, whether they are from the former Soviet Bloc, Latin America, South Asia, or Africa.
However, there are also social and cultural issues involved, because in many respects women are treated better in Western countries than they are in much of the world.
This sounds expensive. How much will it cost me to spend several months chatting and then travel to meet a woman?
That depends on a lot of factors, but if you get really serious about a girl and decide go to meet her it will begin to add up quickly. In that case, you should probably budget at least $5,000 for the trip. You can certainly spend more and you might be able to spend less, but don’t plan on it.
If you speak the girl’s native language and have connections in her home country maybe you don’t need to take a tour, but otherwise it will probably save you a lot of hassles and maybe even end up cheaper.
For instance, what if you travel all the way to the other side of the world and your “girl” never shows? If you are part of a tour the guides will help you contact her and find out what happened. Maybe she missed her train or couldn’t get off work at the last minute. If you do not know the language and know the country it can be difficult to sort out even simple problems.
Or what if you planned to spend two weeks with her, but after two hours you cannot stand this woman for another two minutes? Well, if you are on a tour there will be plenty of chances to meet other women. Women that actually want to meet foreign men.
Finally, what if you lose your wallet, or get sick, or have a few too many drinks and do something dumb? These tour operators are pros and they deal with these issues on a regular basis and they can really help you out.