Myth # 1 – The Girls Just Want a Green Card - These Marriages Never Last
Many people make the assumption that marriages that have resulted from international dating don't last, but that is simply a media fiction. The sad truth in our society today is that heartbreak and horror stories sell a lot better than stories that touch the heart, so “Green card bride horror stories” sell a lot better than stories about the thousands of happy marriages.
Sure, there are isolated cases where a girl cons some poor guy out of some cash and then takes off once she gets her papers, but the reason you hear about these things is because they sell newspapers and get ratings on TV.
This sort of thing is NOT happening all the time. There are millions of sweet, sexy, and caring young women that truly want a long-term relationship with a Western man.
In fact, the best official estimates in the United States and the European Union show that marriages that start on international dating sites are actually more successful overall than other marriages.
Dr. Robert J Scholes, in an official report to the United States Congress, noted...
...marriages arranged through these services would appear to have a lower divorce rate than the nation as a whole; fully 80 percent of these marriages have lasted over the years for which reports are available.
One explanation for this might be the fact that both the bride and groom have a real expectation to make this work. After all, if a person is moving halfway around the world to be with someone, they’re typically going to be serious about the relationship.
There’s also the fact that there’s a lot larger pool of potential pairings when you venture outside of your community. With international dating you’re putting yourself out there to meet people all over the world, so statistically your odds of finding someone compatible are much higher than dating only locally.
Many people will say that these women are only interested in marrying foreign men because it improves their standard of living. There is some merit to this, but keep in mind, “improving one’s circumstances” is part of the “dating ritual” with domestic dating as well.
In a way, being able to offer these women an opportunity to live in a society that doesn’t degrade women, but rather gives them unlimited opportunities is just one of the many things that you contribute to the relationship.
Lisa Simmons, whose dissertation is easily the best academic study of the modern mail order bride phenomenon, and her discussion of why women around the world are seeking out Western men deserves to be quoted at some length.
She wrote that…
In addition to believing that marrying a foreigner would contribute to financial security, all of the women in my sample strongly articulated the belief that an American man would make a better emotional partner than would a man from their own country.
They felt that a marriage should be based on mutual love and respect; and they wanted a man who would be able to provide the sort of emotional support that they felt was not easy to find among their own countrymen. The emphasis on quality of relationship was an unexpected finding because this aspect of international marriage has not been the focus on much media coverage.
Divorce rates must also be considered when it comes to this myth. When you look at domestic divorce rates in the United States estimated at 48-54% and divorce rates in the EU not trailing too far behind that, it’s quite refreshing to see data that suggests that marriages that result from international relationships have divorce rates that track significantly lower.
In fact, Switzerland reported that marriages between Swiss men and foreign women were approximately 10% less likely to end in divorce than marriages between Swiss men and women.
